But I was only joking...

That's not who I am.
I am not a ______.
I was only joking.

I'm not sure exactly how those three excuses for saying something inexcusable would rank in the order they are used.  I'm putting them in this order because my best guess is that the "I was only joking" excuse is used more than any other, save the other two listed.

Donald Trump has used this defense on a number of occasions.  It was the first excuse used by Roseanne Barr when she sent out a tweet saying something vile about Valerie Jarrett.  Now Milo Yiannopoulos is saying that this comment he made to two journalists was a joke:

"I can't wait for vigilante squads to start gunning journalists down on sight"

In what context is that supposed to be funny?  He's claiming that this is his standard response to requests for comment from the media.  He says he was trolling them.  Now some are trying to blame him for the shooting at the offices of the Annapolis-based Capital Gazette newspaper.

He is not to blame.  Neither is Donald Trump with all of his attacks on the media.  Not directly.  Jarrod Warren Ramos is accused of carrying out the murder of five people and the wounding of two others.  He had sued the newspaper over a column that detailed his involvement in a case of online harassment.  He subsequently pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor harassment charge and got probation.  He sued the paper for defamation.  His lawsuit was tossed from court.

I doubt he was inspired to act by the words of Trump, Yiannopoulos or anyone else.  He'd sent over 800 tweets to the author of the column he claimed had defamed him.

* * *

All that being said, there is a problem with the rising level of incivility both sides of the political aisle are engaging in.  Donald Trump did not start this stuff.  But he pushed it to a much higher level than we've seen in a very long time.

Both sides could learn from the example of the late Mike Mansfield.  He was the US Senate Majority leader from January of 1961 until January of 1977.  He had written an address he planned to deliver to the Senate on November 22, 1963.  The assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy prevented him from giving that speech.  He ultimately delivered it 35 years later as the first in a number of "Leader's Lectures," a series created by Senator Trent Lott.  Here is an excerpt:

"In this light, we have reason to be grateful because if what was stated was being said in the cloakrooms, then it should have been said on the floor. If, as was indicated, the functioning of the Senate itself is in question, the place to air that matter is on the floor of the Senate. We need no cloakroom commandos, operating behind the swinging doors of the two rooms at the rear, to spread the tidings. We need no whispered word passed from one to another and on to the press.

We are here to do the public's business. On the floor of the Senate, the public's business is conducted in full sight and hearing of the public. And it is here, not in the cloakrooms, that the Senator from Montana, the majority leader, if you wish, will address himself to the question of the present state of the Senate and its leadership. . . . It will be said to all Senators and to all the members of the press who sit above us in more ways than one."

The Senate that Senator Mansfield described is not the Senate of today.  The level of obstruction perpetuated by the current majority leader, Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky when he was the minority leader wasn't significantly different than that of the current minority leader, Senator Chuck Schumer of New York.  Then again, Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, McConnell's predecessor as majority leader did almost as much as what McConnell has done since becoming majority leader to prevent the opposition party from being able to get things done.  

It is true that Senator McConnell abdicated his duty in preventing the nomination of Merrick Garland from coming up for a vote.  From at least being debated by the members of the Senate.  But we must not forget that it was Harry Reid who first used the nuclear option to get presidential nominees through the confirmation process.

The Senate may not have a veneer of incivility but how it is conducting its legislative agenda has become so hyper-partisan as to demonstrate a total lack of respect for the process itself.  Senator Mansfield was a Democrat.  Democrats were opposed to allowing the 1964 Civil Rights Act to come up for a vote.  He supported President Nixon's "Nixon Doctrine" which called for the United States to honor all of its treaty commitments.  When the economy tanked in 1971, Senator Mansfield said, "what we're in is not a Republican recession or a Democratic recession; both parties had much to do with bringing us to where we are today.  But we're facing a national situation which calls for the best which all of us can produce."

I get that people who subscribe to the theory of Congresswoman Maxine Waters to confront the Trump administration's people at every turn are frustrated.  It is satisfying to confront that which we oppose.  I believe with all my heart that those who are Trump's core supporters are far more uncivil to others than those who oppose Trump's agenda.  They show it in their behavior, with their t-shirts.  I'm fairly certain that whoever in Texas made the most serious death threats against Ms Waters are ardent fans of Donald Trump.

We simply cannot lose sight of the real brass ring.  It isn't sending people wearing MAGA hats packing from public places.  It isn't calling Stephen Miller a xenophobe to his face.  It is to take control of Congress.  That is the best way to stop Donald Trump from ruining our nation.