The recent scandals involving generals...

has me pondering the issue of fidelity.  Or should I say infidelity.

It's a subject I'm very familiar with and have strong feelings about.  I won't speak ill of the deceased, but there was someone very important in my life who engaged in multiple acts of infidelity while he was still alive.  Seeing his actions influenced my own life and I'm proud to be able to say I've never committed any act of infidelity to anyone I've been romantically committed to.

I can't say the same for either of my ex-wives.  Both were involved with other men while we were still married and committed to one another.  In both instances, those infidelities were directly responsible for the end of our marriages.  I accept some of the blame, because somehow, some way I wasn't able to give them or do for them whatever was needed for them to remain faithful and in our committed relationship.  But they get the majority of the fault when assigning fault.

I've heard numerous commentators remarking on the issue of the infidelity of General Patraeus, General Allen and other men.  What I don't hear is these people grasping the concept that for every man who cheats, unless he happens to be a homosexual, there's a woman involved in his act or acts of infidelity.  Paula Broadwell, the alleged mistress of General Patraeus is a married lady.  She was no more and no less unfaithful to her husband than General Patraeus was to his wife.

This brings me to another concept, one that many probably won't agree with me on.  If a married person (or otherwise involved in a romantic, committed relationship of some sort) engages in acts of infidelity with a person who is truly single, that single person is also guilty of an act of infidelity if they were aware of the existence of that committed relationship.  When a man or woman fools around behind their partner's back, if the person they are being unfaithful with is unaware of their committed status, then they have done nothing wrong.  But when they are aware, they should either refuse to get involved with that person, or accept the fact that they are doing something wrong.

How is it that they should know this is wrong?  Because if they were involved with someone in a committed relationship, they wouldn't accept that partner fooling around.  So it's just as wrong.

Now then, if people want to have these so-called "open relationships" that is certainly their choice.  Likewise with polygamy.  But when it's a committed situation involving two people, either keep the commitment, or end it and move on. 

How many more careers and lives will be ruined by people being unable or unwilling to simply live up to a promise?