Good-bye Johnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

He is quoted as having said "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die." Johnny Carson, king of late night television died today at the age of 79 and I feel like a small part of me died with him.

He was the best when it comes to hosting a late night talk-show and no one before or since has managed to approach his brilliance. He was the master of the monologue, the sultan of the skit, and while Leno and Letterman attempt to carry on in his stead, it just hasn't been the same since Ed McMahon last said those famous words "Here's Johnny."

The characters that Carson and his brilliant staff of writers created never failed to make me laugh, no matter how bad my day had been, no matter how depressing the news was on the newscast that always preceded Carson's Tonight Show. Take Carson's redneck everyman, "Floyd R. Turbo", who once said of nuclear reactors "And what's all this fuss about plutonium: How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?" Or that turban-wearing know-it-all Carnac the Magnificent who could spout off the answers to questions hermetically sealed in envelopes held by Ed and then opened by Carnac after giving the answer. An example: Answer - Ovaltine. Question: Describe Oprah Winfrey in high school. Another: Answer: - The Moonies. Question - What religion requires members to drop their pants?. You didn't dare boo Carnac either, or he might come back with something like "May the bluebird of paradise molt in your cornflakes". I won't even go near Art Fern or the Mighty Carson Art Players.

Johnny, you may have reached that fork in the road where we part ways, but know that we will miss you, your humor and your mastery of the microphone. You were unique.

Dreams of the Everyday Blogger

I was thinking on Monday, as I mailed some things at the post office, all closed up to honor the late Dr. Martin Luther King, that while his dream survives today, it hasn't become reality.

We (here in the U.S.) live in a society that according to newsradio reports on Monday that is divided along a color line. A green line. Money is what separates the races these days, according to these reports. The ability to earn it, the opportunities to invest it, and so on.

Larry Elder, noted radio and television talk show host often disputes that view and as I stood there outside the post office I thought that there is some merit to some of what he has said in the past. There is unlimited opportunity in this country, if you are know where to find it. You can be anything you want to be, within certain limits. So far, the presidency has been limited to white males, but who knows, that may change someday. Same with the vice presidency and at least there's been one nominee for that post from one of the two major political parties who wasn't a white male. Of course, she was part of one of the biggest losing tickets in history.

I have my own dreams, nonsensical as they are. I dream of the day where someone other than a Negro will be the head of the NAACP. After all, with the exception of Caucasians, all other races are supposedly people of color and the organization's acronym does stand for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. I dream of the day when NOW will be headed by a man. Can't a man be in favor of equality for women and support an organization that has this goal as its mission? I dream of the day that a Muslim will become chair of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

Strange vision, isn't it? I agree. I don't really dream of those things. What I dream of is a society where we aren't so polarized along so many different lines that we no longer need a NAACP and a NOW and a SCLC and a MALDEF and an American-Arab Anti-Defamation League and I could go on endlessly here, but I hope the point is coming across. We are neither a melting pot or a salad bowl or any other metaphor for a meshed society that you may want to use. We have become a fractured, broken society, divided along so many different lines that it can get downright confusing. I dream of a society, indeed, of a world, where these dividing lines can be done away with, and we can learn to treat everyone, no matter their race or creed, their age or gender, their religion or even lack thereof, with the same respect and dignity that we ourselves want to be treated with. Sadly, I doubt my dream will ever become reality.

Aspiring to Rip-Off the Credit-Challenged

I've heard of offers too good to be true; however, I just finished reading an offer so bad it's tough to believe it is true, but it is.

Aspire Visa has a credit offer it mails to those who are "credit-challenged" which is a polite way of saying they have some negative data on their credit report and they have recently applied and been refused credit. No problem folks, Aspire Visa is there to meet your credit needs. No security deposit required. You are pre-approved. No application fee. Sounds great, considering that there are many sub-prime credit card offers out there involving security deposits and/or high application fees. At least it sounds great until you read the fine print.

Because buried in the fine print you discover that there is an annual fee of $150.00 for this wonderful credit card and if that isn't bad enough, another $6.50 per month ($78.00 annually) in account maintenance fees to get this credit card and on top of that, an account opening fee of $29.00. Assuming you get a $300 line of credit, you'll pay $257.00 the first year for that credit line and $228.00 per year thereafter.

This isn't just a lender charging high fees in order to lend money to risky borrowers. This is a lender profiteering from the stupidity of anyone silly enough to accept the offer. There are secured cards with lower annual fees out there and if all you're going to get is a $300 line of credit unsecured at a cost of almost $300 in the first year, there's no point in opening the account anyway.

If you are ever among the credit-challenged, or even if you aren't, if you find an offer from Aspire Visa in your mailbox, you better read every word of the fine print before accepting the offer. Otherwise you might be surprised at how much that offer is going to cost you.