My blog of gratitude - one day late

 

I try to write a blog every year on Thanksgiving Day. I am imperfect and have missed some years. I did not write 1 yesterday and that was a deliberate choice. My mother made it until the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving before passing away, asleep in her hospital bed.  It is purely coincidence that my father passed away the week before Thanksgiving 16 years ago.

 

In the wake of this type of loss, it is easy to adopt a mindset that I have nothing to be thankful for. That's the easy way out. It is not the right way at least not for me. I have lost two parents, as have many of you. One who I treasured and adored for  most of my life, although we were estranged for over 7 years at one point. The other parent I loved as long as she lived. I will continue to love her as long as i live. It is because of her that I have at least one very compelling reason to be thankful. Not just on Thanksgiving, but every day.

 

Some of you know this, others do not. I'm going to repeat it in a hopefully brief manner. Flashback to April of 2010. I became extremely ill and wound up spending nine weeks in a coma. Doctors who were treating me approached my mother about pulling the plug. One of them told her simply, “if he is a fighter he will live. If he is not a fighter, he won't.” I think the fact that I am still here 14 plus years later shows I am a fighter. She would not give up on me. She would not entertain any conversation about letting me go. Her faith that I would live is why I am here. It is the thing I am most grateful for.

 

I am grateful for my siblings. My stepsister Susan, my sister Beth and my brother Barry. We have been in contact during this very trying time, and I am grateful for their support and love. Yes Virginia, grateful equals thankful.

 

I am grateful to work for an employer that supports me with the management team that always has my back. I am behind in my work and yet my managers told me don't worry about work, take the time you need to deal with your loss. They made sure my colleagues were informed and without exception, they have offered their condolences.

 

I am thankful for my friends. The closest friends and all the other friends who learn of my loss have taken time to offer concern and comfort. Some of my closest friends are keeping a close eye on me but without smothering me. It is a distinction worthy of note and respect.

 

I have never been close with my father's side of the family. It's been nearly 20 years since I've had contact with any of them. That does not change the fact that I know with certainty that if they were aware of my loss, they would reach out.

 

I am thankful for the high quality medical care received from the veterans administration. There is no question that the health care is first rate. That there are problems with the administrative management that health care is well known, but that doesn't stop the doctors, nurses and other health care professionals from taking great care of this particular veteran. I will also note for the record that the care I see them providing every other veteran is also outstanding, with the very occasional exception. I spent 8 hours in the VA emergency room on Monday. The stay was prolonged because some tests showed some concerning results. A young resident physician asked me if I would be willing to stay to allow them to run some further tests to ensure everything was OK. She mentioned understanding that most of the time patients don't want to do that because they don't want to be in hospitals. I am willing to wager that there are very few people who hate being in hospitals more than I do. I spent a year in one and hope to never spend another night in one again as long as I live.  I told her that my opinion of people who seek the advice of experts and then ignore it are being foolish. In the end there was nothing to be concerned about and I was sent home.

 

I am thankful for a certain college sociology professor whose name escapes me. He taught me and the rest of our class about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Otherwise, I would not know to be thankful that my physiological and safety needs are being met.

 

I was chatting with a friend yesterday online my friend told me they were sorry for some of the terrible things that have happened in my life. As I pointed out to my friend, I am thankful for the lessons learned from such events. I know that I am the sum of my experiences. I have seen more death and dead bodies in one lifetime than anyone should have to bear, but I live with it. These 65 years, two months and some days and what has transpired during that time is why I am who I am.

 

I am thankful for people who upon learning that I am a veteran, thank me for my service. My service began in 1977 when people were still spitting on veterans although it had greatly tapered off since the end of the Vietnam war. It is encouraging to see those who volunteered to serve our nation being thanked for that choice.

 

I am more thankful than ever that our nation's founders built the system of checks and balances that our democracy must rely on to be protected for the next 4 years beginning in January.

 

I am thankful for my clients. I have a large client base and they are very important to me. The overwhelming majority of them are happy with my work and tell me so. It is extraordinarily gratifying for someone who provides a service to receive expressions of gratitude from those you serve.

 

Lastly, I am grateful for anyone who took the time to read this far. I don't write as often as I used to and I feel I am letting my audience down by doing less. But if even one person gleans 1 nugget that is useful from this rant; it was worth it.