Overheard in a restaurant
I don't intentionally eavesdrop on the conversations of others when dining out. But on a recent breakfast outing I could not help but overhear a conversation. I never even turned around to see the people who were talking but there were three distinct voices. Two male voices and one female voice, as far as I could determine. They were talking about a movie they'd watched the previous evening.
The film they were discussing was Sliding Doors. At first they were talking about the infidelity aspects of the movie but then talk turned to the "what if" scenario. The woman asked the guys if there was one decision in their lives that they could do over, what would it be. And if they had that chance, would they actually take it.
Now I have way too much time on my hands these days, thanks to my various disabilities and the fact my part-time work is extremely limited at this time of year. So I already spend what is probably too much of that time thinking about what I've accomplished, what I failed to accomplish and how things could have been different.
We all make choices that we wind up regretting, sometimes the moment after making them. Take the case of the well-known baseball "ballhawk" Zack Hample. This past Sunday he attended the ESPN Sunday night game of the week, which was a special event. It was held on the grounds of Fort Bragg in North Carolina. The problem is the game was limited to active duty personnel and their dependents. While Mr. Hample claims he was taken to the game by a "friend" who serves in a unit where everyone got tickets, he'd posted ads on social media offering to pay $1,000 to anyone who got him into the game. Given the outrage on social media in the wake of the event, I'd wager Mr. Hample would love to get a "do-over" on that decision.
So I started thinking, is there one decision I'd want a do-over on? Would it be to apply myself in lass back in high school? If I had, I could have easily maintained a pretty high GPA. I would have wound up going to college instead of joining the military. Who knows what might have happened? Too many variables. Plus I wasn't really mature enough yet to fully apply myself to my classwork. I was more interested in bowling and my various part-time jobs.
How about the choice to marry, twice, both times ending in divorce? I could easily see how those choices wouldn't have had much impact on my life. I'd have saved some money but in both instances I learned very valuable lessons that help me deal with my life as it is today. So those won't do.
In 1980 I was faced with the choice of going to Guam or getting out of the Air Force altogether. I'd considered trying the Professional Bowler's tour. I had the skill and met the qualifications to join the tour, but I know in my heart I wouldn't have become a star. I needed to progress to a next level that I never quite reached in that game. Nope.
There were other choices in my life I considered and ultimately came to the same conclusions as with the above instances. The one that comes closest was a choice I made on a whim. It was early in 1984 and I'd just received orders for a permanent change of stations from Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS to go to Kwang Ju Airbase in the Republic of Korea. I was at the personnel office doing the paperwork and the clerk helping me asked "do you want to put in for a follow-on assignment and if so, to where?" Follow-on assignments were available back then if you were going overseas for a short tour (15 months or less) and allowed you to choose the base you'd be assigned to upon the conclusion of your overseas duty. I looked at a map of bases and decided that for a change I wanted to be stationed close to home. So I chose Nellis AFB, which is located just North of the Las Vegas strip. It seemed like the right choice at the time.
Right up until I was nearing the 75% point of my tour of duty in the ROK. My commander nominated me for an assignment to Japan. My unit's new HQ would be established there and they needed personnel for the advance team to establish that HQ. The two-star general that commanded the then Air Force Communications Command approved my CO's recommendation and I was selected for the assignment. The problem arose when the Tactical Air Command, which ran operations at Nellis, refused to release me from that follow-on assignment I'd so carelessly asked for before going to the ROK. The commander of TAC was a four-star general, so that was that and off I went to Nellis. Had I gone to Japan it would have meant a promotion and I'd have reenlisted yet again. Instead, I left the service two years later.
Going to Japan would have meant staying in the service until I reached retirement age. I'd have a pension today that would be nice. I'd have access to the base exchange and commissary at military bases anywhere in the U.S. Nearly free travel on military flights. But it would have also meant I'd have never taken my job at Crossroads, a job I loved for nearly all of my 17 years there. I cannot count how many people would have never been a part of my life. The people, the knowledge and what's transpired since I left Korea are worth far more in my mind than a pension and other benefits.
I guess the lesson is that you make decisions at the time with all of the information available and then move forward. You get no do-overs in life. Not until time travel is invented of course.
The film they were discussing was Sliding Doors. At first they were talking about the infidelity aspects of the movie but then talk turned to the "what if" scenario. The woman asked the guys if there was one decision in their lives that they could do over, what would it be. And if they had that chance, would they actually take it.
Now I have way too much time on my hands these days, thanks to my various disabilities and the fact my part-time work is extremely limited at this time of year. So I already spend what is probably too much of that time thinking about what I've accomplished, what I failed to accomplish and how things could have been different.
We all make choices that we wind up regretting, sometimes the moment after making them. Take the case of the well-known baseball "ballhawk" Zack Hample. This past Sunday he attended the ESPN Sunday night game of the week, which was a special event. It was held on the grounds of Fort Bragg in North Carolina. The problem is the game was limited to active duty personnel and their dependents. While Mr. Hample claims he was taken to the game by a "friend" who serves in a unit where everyone got tickets, he'd posted ads on social media offering to pay $1,000 to anyone who got him into the game. Given the outrage on social media in the wake of the event, I'd wager Mr. Hample would love to get a "do-over" on that decision.
So I started thinking, is there one decision I'd want a do-over on? Would it be to apply myself in lass back in high school? If I had, I could have easily maintained a pretty high GPA. I would have wound up going to college instead of joining the military. Who knows what might have happened? Too many variables. Plus I wasn't really mature enough yet to fully apply myself to my classwork. I was more interested in bowling and my various part-time jobs.
How about the choice to marry, twice, both times ending in divorce? I could easily see how those choices wouldn't have had much impact on my life. I'd have saved some money but in both instances I learned very valuable lessons that help me deal with my life as it is today. So those won't do.
In 1980 I was faced with the choice of going to Guam or getting out of the Air Force altogether. I'd considered trying the Professional Bowler's tour. I had the skill and met the qualifications to join the tour, but I know in my heart I wouldn't have become a star. I needed to progress to a next level that I never quite reached in that game. Nope.
There were other choices in my life I considered and ultimately came to the same conclusions as with the above instances. The one that comes closest was a choice I made on a whim. It was early in 1984 and I'd just received orders for a permanent change of stations from Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS to go to Kwang Ju Airbase in the Republic of Korea. I was at the personnel office doing the paperwork and the clerk helping me asked "do you want to put in for a follow-on assignment and if so, to where?" Follow-on assignments were available back then if you were going overseas for a short tour (15 months or less) and allowed you to choose the base you'd be assigned to upon the conclusion of your overseas duty. I looked at a map of bases and decided that for a change I wanted to be stationed close to home. So I chose Nellis AFB, which is located just North of the Las Vegas strip. It seemed like the right choice at the time.
Right up until I was nearing the 75% point of my tour of duty in the ROK. My commander nominated me for an assignment to Japan. My unit's new HQ would be established there and they needed personnel for the advance team to establish that HQ. The two-star general that commanded the then Air Force Communications Command approved my CO's recommendation and I was selected for the assignment. The problem arose when the Tactical Air Command, which ran operations at Nellis, refused to release me from that follow-on assignment I'd so carelessly asked for before going to the ROK. The commander of TAC was a four-star general, so that was that and off I went to Nellis. Had I gone to Japan it would have meant a promotion and I'd have reenlisted yet again. Instead, I left the service two years later.
Going to Japan would have meant staying in the service until I reached retirement age. I'd have a pension today that would be nice. I'd have access to the base exchange and commissary at military bases anywhere in the U.S. Nearly free travel on military flights. But it would have also meant I'd have never taken my job at Crossroads, a job I loved for nearly all of my 17 years there. I cannot count how many people would have never been a part of my life. The people, the knowledge and what's transpired since I left Korea are worth far more in my mind than a pension and other benefits.
I guess the lesson is that you make decisions at the time with all of the information available and then move forward. You get no do-overs in life. Not until time travel is invented of course.
posted by me at 1:31 PM
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