The Culture of Apology
Levi Pettit is one of the two members of the University of Oklahoma chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon that was expelled for taking part in the now infamous racist chant on a party bus. His parents said this after the other student who was expelled, Parker Rice, had released an apology: “As parents of Levi, we love him and care for him deeply,” read the statement, viewed by the Morning News. “He made a horrible mistake, and will live with the consequences forever. However, we also know the depth of our son’s character. He is a good boy, but what we saw in those videos is disgusting. While it may be difficult for those who only know Levi from the video to understand, we know his heart, and he is not a racist. We raised him to be loving and inclusive and we all remain surrounded by a diverse, close-knit group of friends.”
Meanwhile, back in February, a student at UCLA was being considered for an appointment to a position on the Judicial Board of the Undergraduate Students Association Council (USAC) and when the USAC board met with her to discuss her fitness and qualifications to serve on that group, the subject of her being Jewish and active in Jewish organizations came up. "Given that you are active in Jewish organizations, how would you maintain an unbiased viewpoint?"
The student who first raised that issue and the three that joined her in voting against the nomination of Rachel Beyda were forced to issue a written apology for their actions. But a careful reading of that apology and a viewing of the video of this meeting where the issue of Ms Beyda's religion was subjected to scrutiny would indicate this apology to be at best, hollow and meaningless.
Nixon apologized. Did it salvage his legacy? Oh hell no. He won't be remembered primarily for opening the door to Beijing, or for initiating détente with the Soviet Union. Or for creating the Environmental Protection Agency, being the first president to discuss environmental concerns in his State of the Union address, or for supporting the establishment of OSHA. He will be forever reviled for his role in Watergate, a debacle that we are reminded of whenever the media tags the latest scandal as _________Gate.
Apologies for minor transgressions can wipe the slate clean. Accidentally cut someone off in traffic and offer a heartfelt apology and the matter is forgotten. Unless of course you cut the same person off again. My father apologized profusely to me for some serious transgressions and I did forgive him. But during later disagreements, those past events might come up in the discussion. He would ask me if I'd changed my mind about forgiving him and I would come back with "forgiven, but not forgotten."
The apology doesn't erase the action itself. We can forgive someone a transgression, but we usually won't forget about it. I wonder what Adam M. Smith, former CFO of Vante is doing these days. Since the name doesn't ring a bell, perhaps his viral video moment will jog your memory:
I searched for him online, but found nothing to indicate whether or not he was able to secure anything close to his former position as a company's CFO. All the apologies in the world won't make people completely forget what you did.
Mr. Rice and Mr. Pettit have apologized for the racist chanting incident. Are they really sorry? I'm sure they are sorry they got caught. The more time passes, the more sorry they will be that they made such a bad choice.
Meanwhile, back in February, a student at UCLA was being considered for an appointment to a position on the Judicial Board of the Undergraduate Students Association Council (USAC) and when the USAC board met with her to discuss her fitness and qualifications to serve on that group, the subject of her being Jewish and active in Jewish organizations came up. "Given that you are active in Jewish organizations, how would you maintain an unbiased viewpoint?"
The student who first raised that issue and the three that joined her in voting against the nomination of Rachel Beyda were forced to issue a written apology for their actions. But a careful reading of that apology and a viewing of the video of this meeting where the issue of Ms Beyda's religion was subjected to scrutiny would indicate this apology to be at best, hollow and meaningless.
Nixon apologized. Did it salvage his legacy? Oh hell no. He won't be remembered primarily for opening the door to Beijing, or for initiating détente with the Soviet Union. Or for creating the Environmental Protection Agency, being the first president to discuss environmental concerns in his State of the Union address, or for supporting the establishment of OSHA. He will be forever reviled for his role in Watergate, a debacle that we are reminded of whenever the media tags the latest scandal as _________Gate.
Apologies for minor transgressions can wipe the slate clean. Accidentally cut someone off in traffic and offer a heartfelt apology and the matter is forgotten. Unless of course you cut the same person off again. My father apologized profusely to me for some serious transgressions and I did forgive him. But during later disagreements, those past events might come up in the discussion. He would ask me if I'd changed my mind about forgiving him and I would come back with "forgiven, but not forgotten."
The apology doesn't erase the action itself. We can forgive someone a transgression, but we usually won't forget about it. I wonder what Adam M. Smith, former CFO of Vante is doing these days. Since the name doesn't ring a bell, perhaps his viral video moment will jog your memory:
I searched for him online, but found nothing to indicate whether or not he was able to secure anything close to his former position as a company's CFO. All the apologies in the world won't make people completely forget what you did.
Mr. Rice and Mr. Pettit have apologized for the racist chanting incident. Are they really sorry? I'm sure they are sorry they got caught. The more time passes, the more sorry they will be that they made such a bad choice.
posted by me at 5:51 PM
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