White-wash Sunday
Twenty-five people are nominated in the four acting categories, and in the best director category at the 87th annual Academy Awards; scheduled for Sunday, February 22nd. Unless I've missed something, 24 of the 25 are Caucasians. The sole person of color among these nominees is Alejandro González Iñárritu, who is Hispanic. There will be protests outside of Sunday's ceremonies, decrying the lack of diversity once again among the nominees this year. Loading the stage with a "diverse" array of presenters doesn't begin to address the whitewash that Sunday's ceremony represents.
Why is it that David Oyelowo was good enough to garner nominations for Best Actor at the Golden Globes and at the Independent Spirit Awards, but not for an Academy Award? Is it the voting membership of the Academy's overwhelmingly old, white membership as detailed in the Los Angeles Times? Were the five Best Actor nominees that much better than Mr. Oyelowo? I don't believe that for a moment. I'm not saying he was better than any of the five nominees, all six of them (and the others who some claim were snubbed), all did outstanding work in their 2014 performances.
So how do we address this problem? Simple. Change the rules. Allow members of the Acting Branch of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) to vote for any five performances among actors, and five more among actresses. With a caveat. Unless the voter has actually seen the film, they cannot nominate it for any awards. It wouldn't be all that difficult to ensure the voters were in compliance with this rule. Limiting the so-called reminder lists to just ten actors and ten actresses for consideration to become a nominee seems more than a bit unfair.
Do the same for every other award once the nominations are announced. If you didn't see all five nominated performances in an acting category, you can't vote in that category. Same with directing, original screenplay and so on.
There shouldn't be diversity nominations in awards based on merit. But a complete and utter lack of diversity strongly suggests that something is wrong with the process by which merit is being analyzed.
* * *
According to Mother Jones, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly has his own "Brian Williams problem" and his response to the allegations isn't helping. Rather than answer some questions that would be easily answered were Mr. O'Reilly's prior claims truthful, he's resorted to name-calling and saying something many (including me) consider to be a threat of some kind.
Mr. O'Reilly is on the record as having said he was in a "war zone" during his time covering the Falklands War for CBS News. But no correspondents were actually given access to the areas in the Falkland Islands where the fighting was going on. Mr. O'Reilly was over 1,000 miles away, covering the war from Buenos Aires. That city was not in a war zone.
Fess up, Mr. O'Reilly.
* * *
Oscar predictions for tomorrow night:
Best Picture - Birdman will probably win. Tough category with other outstanding films.
Best Actor - Michael Keaton will win. Benedict Cumberbatch should win.
Best Actress - Julianne Moore should and will win.
Best Supporting Actor - J. K. Simmons should and will win.
Best Supporting Actress - Patricia Arquette will win. I'd call this one a tie between Laura Dern and Patricia Arquette
Best Original Screenplay - The Grand Budapest Hotel will win.
Best Adapted Screenplay - The Theory of Everything will win.
Best Director - I feel less strongly about this one than any other prediction, but Richard Linklater will win.
* * *
Someone I follow on Twitter was tweeting excerpts from their own "dream" Oscar acceptance speech so I decided to write my own. So at an Oscar ceremony, some year in the future, Kate Bosworth is at the podium and after the obligatory joke says "the nominees for Best Original Screenplay are:
Wes Anderson, for Mushroom Cloud Soup,
Joel and Ethan Coen, for Vertigo in Fargo,
Me, for Once a Cop,
Charlie Kaufman, for This is Your Brain on Life,
Quentin Tarrantino, for Kill Bill, Vol III,
And the Oscar goes to me."
There is a round of applause for me, as this is my first nomination and the only one for this little indie film that almost no one bothered to see. In my rented tux and shiny shoes I stride toward the stage, with my portable oxygen tank in tow. Somehow I manage to get up the steps without falling or gasping for air, and I shake hands with Ms Bosworth. She kisses me chastely on the cheek, thanking her lucky stars I'm not going to pull an Adrien Brody on her and hands me the golden statuette. I move to the microphone and say:
"Let me begin by thanking all 239 of you who took the time to see the movie during its limited theatrical release. If someone will send me a list of your names, I will be happy to send personalized thank you notes. Thank you to the members of the Academy, the producers who somehow found the money ([sotto voce ]you guys still owe me that twenty grand I lent you), and most of all to my mother and father. Without those two, someone else would have won tonight. To the director, cast, crew and others involved in the production, my undying gratitude. You put every single word on the final draft, and some that didn't make it that far up there on the screen for the audience to see.
To my agent, publicist and attorney, a quick thanks since you've already been compensated for your efforts on my behalf. I don't have a wife to forget to thank, which is something I am thankful for in and of itself. Since my ex-wives and I haven't had anything of substance to say to one another for at least 20 years, I have no further comment on them. To every single woman who I dated and who chose to dump me, I bet you're wishing you were sitting out there in the audience tonight, smiling up at me. Truth be told, most of you aren't wishing that and those who are probably found the proper man to satisfy their avaricious nature. To the teachers and supervisors who said I'd never amount to anything, I guess I showed you. You didn't say it to motivate me, you said it because you suck as teachers.
Finally, to those out there who have dreamt of standing where I am now. Dreaming is good. Dreaming can be wonderful. But rather than spend you life dreaming, as I nearly did, put that energy into the keyboard, into the pen and paper and fulfill your promise. With all of their positive attributes, dreams alone can't get you one of these (hold up the Oscar). Thank you and good night."
* * *
Random Ponderings:
If people want to pay to see Bill Cosby perform, that's their prerogative. If people want to protest outside venues where he is performing, that's also their prerogative. He should rebrand his next tour as the "I Did Not Grope Those Women Tour."
The Oscar "swag" bags for acting and directing nominees are worth more than $160,000 this year. Every single nominee should donate the entire contents of their bag to charity. Well, except maybe for the vibrator and condoms. Those might come in handy. BTW, just what do two 2-packs of condoms possibly do to make their value $56???
Apparently someone stole video of a nude Kris Jenner at some point. Why is beyond me. All I care about is ensuring I'm never struck blind by an accidental viewing of this video. If you're willing to code a custom solution to prevent that from ever happening on any computer or smartphone I ever use, please contact me.
I don't have my Lincoln Log yearbooks handy, but the thought of one particular photo in them just flew into my mind. The vending machines on the left, the trash cans that we filled with debris from the products inside those machines on the right; with the caption, "if you don't like the trash on the right, try the trash on the left." Classic.
Perhaps one of the nominees at the Oscars award ceremony should be Spanx, for Best Supporting of Actresses.
Why is it that David Oyelowo was good enough to garner nominations for Best Actor at the Golden Globes and at the Independent Spirit Awards, but not for an Academy Award? Is it the voting membership of the Academy's overwhelmingly old, white membership as detailed in the Los Angeles Times? Were the five Best Actor nominees that much better than Mr. Oyelowo? I don't believe that for a moment. I'm not saying he was better than any of the five nominees, all six of them (and the others who some claim were snubbed), all did outstanding work in their 2014 performances.
So how do we address this problem? Simple. Change the rules. Allow members of the Acting Branch of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) to vote for any five performances among actors, and five more among actresses. With a caveat. Unless the voter has actually seen the film, they cannot nominate it for any awards. It wouldn't be all that difficult to ensure the voters were in compliance with this rule. Limiting the so-called reminder lists to just ten actors and ten actresses for consideration to become a nominee seems more than a bit unfair.
Do the same for every other award once the nominations are announced. If you didn't see all five nominated performances in an acting category, you can't vote in that category. Same with directing, original screenplay and so on.
There shouldn't be diversity nominations in awards based on merit. But a complete and utter lack of diversity strongly suggests that something is wrong with the process by which merit is being analyzed.
* * *
According to Mother Jones, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly has his own "Brian Williams problem" and his response to the allegations isn't helping. Rather than answer some questions that would be easily answered were Mr. O'Reilly's prior claims truthful, he's resorted to name-calling and saying something many (including me) consider to be a threat of some kind.
Mr. O'Reilly is on the record as having said he was in a "war zone" during his time covering the Falklands War for CBS News. But no correspondents were actually given access to the areas in the Falkland Islands where the fighting was going on. Mr. O'Reilly was over 1,000 miles away, covering the war from Buenos Aires. That city was not in a war zone.
Fess up, Mr. O'Reilly.
* * *
Oscar predictions for tomorrow night:
Best Picture - Birdman will probably win. Tough category with other outstanding films.
Best Actor - Michael Keaton will win. Benedict Cumberbatch should win.
Best Actress - Julianne Moore should and will win.
Best Supporting Actor - J. K. Simmons should and will win.
Best Supporting Actress - Patricia Arquette will win. I'd call this one a tie between Laura Dern and Patricia Arquette
Best Original Screenplay - The Grand Budapest Hotel will win.
Best Adapted Screenplay - The Theory of Everything will win.
Best Director - I feel less strongly about this one than any other prediction, but Richard Linklater will win.
* * *
Someone I follow on Twitter was tweeting excerpts from their own "dream" Oscar acceptance speech so I decided to write my own. So at an Oscar ceremony, some year in the future, Kate Bosworth is at the podium and after the obligatory joke says "the nominees for Best Original Screenplay are:
Wes Anderson, for Mushroom Cloud Soup,
Joel and Ethan Coen, for Vertigo in Fargo,
Me, for Once a Cop,
Charlie Kaufman, for This is Your Brain on Life,
Quentin Tarrantino, for Kill Bill, Vol III,
And the Oscar goes to me."
There is a round of applause for me, as this is my first nomination and the only one for this little indie film that almost no one bothered to see. In my rented tux and shiny shoes I stride toward the stage, with my portable oxygen tank in tow. Somehow I manage to get up the steps without falling or gasping for air, and I shake hands with Ms Bosworth. She kisses me chastely on the cheek, thanking her lucky stars I'm not going to pull an Adrien Brody on her and hands me the golden statuette. I move to the microphone and say:
"Let me begin by thanking all 239 of you who took the time to see the movie during its limited theatrical release. If someone will send me a list of your names, I will be happy to send personalized thank you notes. Thank you to the members of the Academy, the producers who somehow found the money ([sotto voce ]you guys still owe me that twenty grand I lent you), and most of all to my mother and father. Without those two, someone else would have won tonight. To the director, cast, crew and others involved in the production, my undying gratitude. You put every single word on the final draft, and some that didn't make it that far up there on the screen for the audience to see.
To my agent, publicist and attorney, a quick thanks since you've already been compensated for your efforts on my behalf. I don't have a wife to forget to thank, which is something I am thankful for in and of itself. Since my ex-wives and I haven't had anything of substance to say to one another for at least 20 years, I have no further comment on them. To every single woman who I dated and who chose to dump me, I bet you're wishing you were sitting out there in the audience tonight, smiling up at me. Truth be told, most of you aren't wishing that and those who are probably found the proper man to satisfy their avaricious nature. To the teachers and supervisors who said I'd never amount to anything, I guess I showed you. You didn't say it to motivate me, you said it because you suck as teachers.
Finally, to those out there who have dreamt of standing where I am now. Dreaming is good. Dreaming can be wonderful. But rather than spend you life dreaming, as I nearly did, put that energy into the keyboard, into the pen and paper and fulfill your promise. With all of their positive attributes, dreams alone can't get you one of these (hold up the Oscar). Thank you and good night."
* * *
Random Ponderings:
If people want to pay to see Bill Cosby perform, that's their prerogative. If people want to protest outside venues where he is performing, that's also their prerogative. He should rebrand his next tour as the "I Did Not Grope Those Women Tour."
The Oscar "swag" bags for acting and directing nominees are worth more than $160,000 this year. Every single nominee should donate the entire contents of their bag to charity. Well, except maybe for the vibrator and condoms. Those might come in handy. BTW, just what do two 2-packs of condoms possibly do to make their value $56???
Apparently someone stole video of a nude Kris Jenner at some point. Why is beyond me. All I care about is ensuring I'm never struck blind by an accidental viewing of this video. If you're willing to code a custom solution to prevent that from ever happening on any computer or smartphone I ever use, please contact me.
I don't have my Lincoln Log yearbooks handy, but the thought of one particular photo in them just flew into my mind. The vending machines on the left, the trash cans that we filled with debris from the products inside those machines on the right; with the caption, "if you don't like the trash on the right, try the trash on the left." Classic.
Perhaps one of the nominees at the Oscars award ceremony should be Spanx, for Best Supporting of Actresses.
posted by me at 6:55 PM
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