Things One Wants to Say But Doesn't
I did something I haven't done since I got out of the hospital back in April of 2011. I went and played live poker. I've played a great deal of online poker (not for real money) since I got out but have not played against real people in a face-to-face game. I lost $80 but I had a blast. I played well, but just experienced several "bad-beats". I won't bore you with the details of those hands.
But I will talk about how I had to bite my tongue throughout the evening. I didn't realize until I'd been in the game for awhile that I was sitting between a father and son, neither of whom can play the game of Texas Hold-em very well. The son was at three sheets to the wind and kept drinking beer, while the father played almost every single hand. In a low-limit hold-em game, the critical decision is whether or not to call the blind. Play too many hands and you'll lose money even if you do get lucky once in a while.
So here are some things that they (or other players in the game) said or did, and what I wanted to say aloud but just said in my mind. I didn't want to start any disagreements.
When the son didn't call a blind with nine/deuce off-suit and a deuce came on the river that would have made two-pair for him, he said "I knew I should have called." In my mind I said "if you knew you should have called, you'd have called."
The father said (several times) "now if I'd gotten that (insert card/suit here) on the river, you'd have been drawing dead." What I wanted to say was "dude, drawing dead means that no matter what card THEY got on the river, they couldn't win."
When there were four spades "on-board" and the father made a flush because he had a Queen in his hand, he was asked "why didn't you raise" to which he replied "because nine times out of ten, someone has a King or Ace." In my brain I said "actually moron, there are 13 spades in the deck, one in your hand and four on the board. That leaves eight, and only two of those are a King or an Ace. So there is actually only one time in two, not nine times in ten."
When this woman at the other end of the table said to the father "I just knew you had that straight" and he didn't, I wanted to say several things. Oh how I wanted to, because she'd been a bit of a smart-ass all night. I try to be tolerant of smart-asses since I have at least a modicum of that personality trait within me.
When the guy three seats to my right said "I haven't won a hand in at least an hour", I wanted to call him a liar. He'd won a small pot only fifteen or so minutes earlier.
When the guy in the number two seat (second to the left of the dealer) lost all of his chips and said he was going to the ATM, I wanted to say "only thing in this building that pays off every time, until you empty your account."
When the son started ranting about the body odor of the guy who'd been sitting next to him, I nearly bit my tongue. This guy reeked of BO, cigarette smoke (he had a partially smoked cigarette tucked behind his ear) and booze. I'm guessing tomorrow night being Saturday is indicative of his weekly encounter with a shower. And he's talking about someone else smelling bad?
Interesting, isn't it? So many things we would love to say but because we're smart and cautious, we remain silent.
But I will talk about how I had to bite my tongue throughout the evening. I didn't realize until I'd been in the game for awhile that I was sitting between a father and son, neither of whom can play the game of Texas Hold-em very well. The son was at three sheets to the wind and kept drinking beer, while the father played almost every single hand. In a low-limit hold-em game, the critical decision is whether or not to call the blind. Play too many hands and you'll lose money even if you do get lucky once in a while.
So here are some things that they (or other players in the game) said or did, and what I wanted to say aloud but just said in my mind. I didn't want to start any disagreements.
When the son didn't call a blind with nine/deuce off-suit and a deuce came on the river that would have made two-pair for him, he said "I knew I should have called." In my mind I said "if you knew you should have called, you'd have called."
The father said (several times) "now if I'd gotten that (insert card/suit here) on the river, you'd have been drawing dead." What I wanted to say was "dude, drawing dead means that no matter what card THEY got on the river, they couldn't win."
When there were four spades "on-board" and the father made a flush because he had a Queen in his hand, he was asked "why didn't you raise" to which he replied "because nine times out of ten, someone has a King or Ace." In my brain I said "actually moron, there are 13 spades in the deck, one in your hand and four on the board. That leaves eight, and only two of those are a King or an Ace. So there is actually only one time in two, not nine times in ten."
When this woman at the other end of the table said to the father "I just knew you had that straight" and he didn't, I wanted to say several things. Oh how I wanted to, because she'd been a bit of a smart-ass all night. I try to be tolerant of smart-asses since I have at least a modicum of that personality trait within me.
When the guy three seats to my right said "I haven't won a hand in at least an hour", I wanted to call him a liar. He'd won a small pot only fifteen or so minutes earlier.
When the guy in the number two seat (second to the left of the dealer) lost all of his chips and said he was going to the ATM, I wanted to say "only thing in this building that pays off every time, until you empty your account."
When the son started ranting about the body odor of the guy who'd been sitting next to him, I nearly bit my tongue. This guy reeked of BO, cigarette smoke (he had a partially smoked cigarette tucked behind his ear) and booze. I'm guessing tomorrow night being Saturday is indicative of his weekly encounter with a shower. And he's talking about someone else smelling bad?
Interesting, isn't it? So many things we would love to say but because we're smart and cautious, we remain silent.
posted by me at 8:14 AM
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