I'm not going to name names, but...

I need to forgive someone.  That person won't be reading my blog, and there probably aren't many (if any) people who read it who know that this person was once the boss of my boss.  But I've been holding on to a lot of anger, for a long time and it's time to let it go.

There were four people in life I was very angry with at one time.  Two of them are ex-wives and I released that anger long ago.  One was my father and I'm very grateful that I was able to tell him that he was forgiven for all that he did to me that required forgiveness, before he passed away.  We had reconnected prior to then and I'm so glad we did.

But I still hold a lot of anger towards this person and after I finish this blog entry I will release it.  I will no longer allow what that person did to have any power over me.  I will stop wasting energy on this betrayal from long ago.  How did this person betray me?  By asking me to take on an additional task that was NOT part of the job I was being paid to do, even after being informed I was on 'overload' and one of my regular job tasks would likely fall through the "cracks" and I would get into trouble with my boss.  Particularly since part of the request (it was phrased as a request but it was unquestionably an order) was to not tell my immediate supervisor what I was doing.  The person who asked me to do this task told me that they would cover for me if anything went wrong, and that I would not get into trouble because I was busy doing this task rather than my regular work.

Of course something went wrong and naturally this person threw me under the bus.  They were living proof of one of Vladimir Illyich Lenin's axioms.  "Promises, like piecrusts, are made to be broken" he said.  He was right.  A promise was made to me, and because I relied on it, I suffered greatly as a result.

For a lot of years I've been angry, although the level of my anger had gone up and down over the years.  But I will no longer allow myself to be angry.  I know that you can't just decide you won't feel a specific emotion, but from the moment this entry ends, I'm going to try.