Things I'm pondering this morning...

what the heck does that link on my blog's stats page mean that makes it appear some random website advertising viagra is the biggest source of hits on my blog?  I didn't sign up to put ads on my blog, and even if I did, I wouldn't have okay viagra ads. 

What does an ER doctor do when some guy comes into the ER and says "Doc, my dick has been hard for more than four hours now after I took some Viagra"?  Ice-pack?  Vasodialtor?  Kick in the balls?

Why is it so funny to see some poor guy kicked in the balls anyway?  I saw that in two movies I saw over the past four days and in both cases the audience broke up in laughter.  Okay, one guy deserved it (the stripper he'd been unfaithful with was pissed she didn't get paid), but the other didn't and yet was asking for it.

Okay, why are there people who are so masochistic?  I understand that different strokes float the boats of different folks, but I can understand the concept of fetishism.  Getting pleasure from pain or being tied into a pretzel makes no sense to me logically.  If you like pain, go be a bad mixed martial arts fighter in your free time and you'll get plenty of pain.  Oh wait, that's a new Kevin James movie.  Never mind.

If the chase involving Al Cowlings and O.J. was a slow-speed chase, what the heck is the one going on right now where the person being chased went into a tunnel and then stopped altogether?  Is this a no-speed chase?

What moron scheduled Carmageddon II on the same weekend as a triathlon closed off traffic from crossing Olympic and Venice Boulevards for stretches of close to ten miles?

Who the heck coined the phrase Carmageddon anyway?  Did they trademark it?  Did someone make a bunch of money from that word?

Is there some dump site somewhere that all of the old CB radios from the 1970s and 80s are laying out in the hot sun, slowly falling apart?

How many days will it take of listing to Album Oriented Rock radio stations for me to tire of this month being called "Rocktober"?  My over/under on this is three days.  But it could be one depending on how many times I hear it today.

Which would suck more?  To be the person who greenlighted "Won't Back Down", which finished 10th in box office on its first weekend, 2nd worst movie opening on more than 2,500 screens of all time; or, to be the person who greenlighted "Dredd 3D", which cost almost three times as much, which averaged less than $1,000 per screen for the weekend box office?  Both would suck a lot, but which would suck worse?

Former "Partridge Family" star Danny Bonaduce was treated with antibiotics after a crazed fan bit him on the cheek recently  I wonder if the woman who bit him shouldn't also have been treated with antibiotics, considering just where that check has been over the past 30 years.

Is there a bigger example of hypocrisy at the moment than tennis player Maria Sharapova, the loudest grunter in tennis today, backing a proposal to ban grunting in tennis?  Not that I wouldn't support the ban, watching women's tennis sometimes I'm tempted to mute the volume.

Everyone who gives a damn that 27 years ago, Arnold did it with Brigitte Nielsen, raise your right hand.  No one?  Imagine that.  Oh wait, I see Brigitte's hand going up.  She's feeling vindicated, now that Arnold's admitted what she confessed to years ago.  Or bragged about years ago.

How did Anne Hathaway manage to get married over the weekend, without the groom being hauled off to jail first?  Oh wait, she finally stopped dating scumbags.  Never mind.

If the batteries fail on an electronic cigarette what does the smoker do?  Maybe they'd have been better off to develop an electronic patch that just shocks you every time you think about lighting up.

What will Dodgers fans do when/if the Dodgers don't make the post-season after committing to nearly a quarter-billion in new salaries over the next few seasons by making that trade with Boston?

When will ESPN start doing a weekly retrospective of basketball players faking a charging call, and title it "The Floppies"?   Maybe now, since the NBA claims it will be putting a stop to the practice.  That's the funniest thing I've heard in hours.

There's something wrong with a system where a woman nearly had to divorce her husband of 50 years in order to get him the home health care assistance he qualified for.  What's wrong with that system I can't say for certain, but this happened in Seattle and it shouldn't have.  Fortunately, she didn't have to go through with the divorce.

Why won't graphic designers hire a woman who really wants to do that kind of work?  Okay, she doesn't have any arms, but in her videos that have gone viral, she's shown she can make a PB&J sandwich, eat sushi with chopsticks, dress herself and the one that really impressed me, drive a car.  Someone needs to give her a hand.  (boo, booooooooo)

After seeing "Looper" over the weekend, is there anything else people who could travel through time do, besides going back a few days and buying winning lottery tickets?  Betting on winning horses or sports teams?