The good news is I walked 35 rather than 30 minutes...

this morning.  The bad news is that it took me 35 minutes to walk what it only took 30 to walk yesterday.  Stiffness and poor sleep are to blame.  My legs usually loosen up as I walk, but this morning they started stiff and got stiffer as I walked.  So I walked more slowly than normal, which means I was walking damn slow.

I'd been up since 5, but didn't go out until 6.  I sat at the computer, indulging my delusion that someday I will finish the Great American novel.  Or finish a mediocre California novel.  Or perhaps just finish a novel without regard to its quality.  I keep trying, but usually don't get far beyond the outline and the first few chapters.  When I go back to edit (I don't edit as I write, I just write so the free-flow of ideas isn't interrupted), I'm never happy with what I've written and often just discard the edited material.  But I will keep plugging.

I walked past the Thai Yoga Massage place this morning and learned that it really isn't 1/2 beauty salon and 1/2 massage parlor.  The lights were on.  It is a beauty salon that happens to offer massage on an appointment only basis.  I noticed yet another beauty salon on the walk that I hadn't noticed before, so they may outnumber the nail salons now.  I also saw a funny sign in the window of the refrigerator rental store.  They have a website at www.rentabox.com and you're free to draw whatever humorous references you like from that.  Oh, just an aside, the famous "black box" on-board airplanes isn't really black.  It's bright orange, to make finding it easier.

I came up with an idea for a new reality TV show by combining the best elements of two.  We'll take from Celebrity Rehab and from Dancing with the Stars and voila, Celebrity Dance Rehab.  Celebrities with substance abuse problems will spend 3 to 4 hours daily in ballroom dance training, to prepare for their weekly dance performance with their semi-professional partner, and 3 to 4 hours daily in intensive therapy sessions with a celebrity therapist other than Dr. Drew or Dr. Phil.  Maybe we should combine three shows.  We'll take those two and throw in a weight-loss element and only accept celebrities with substance abuse issues, who have also gained weight since their days of fame and fortune.  Celebrity Biggest Loser Dance Rehab will feature the dancing element and theraputic elements above, and we'll add Jillian Michaels to whip the celebrities back into shape.  Between the dancing, and the workouts in the gym, they'll be in tip top shape and sober, in no time.  Then we'll market the idea to wealthy people who want to lose weight, or kick their substance abuse issues, or both, and sell expensive getaways to our exclusive location in Dana Point. 

Reality TV may be ruining the scripted TV series as time passes, but I think there will always be a market for shows like NCIS, Suits, Royal Pains, Blue Bloods, and so on.  Great writing will always triumph over stark reality, on television.

But then again, reality TV really has penetrated every aspect of society.  "Redneck Island"?  Remember "The Swan", that show that took very unattractive women and through a combination of exercise, diet, mental health therapy, cosmetic dentristy, plastic surgery and life-coaching, turned them into really attractive women.  Well, as long as I'm designing new reality shows, how about "The Drake"?  It's like the Swan, but this show is all about transgendered women who believe they are really men trapped in women's bodies, like Chaz Bono and the Pregnant Man.  These women, beautiful or not, are taken in, given weightlifting and other training to develop their muscles, lots of male hormones, and ultimately, the sex change operation and after they graduate, they take jobs dancing as one of the Chippendale Dancers.  If Prince Harry would be a big hit taking off his clothes, imagine the shock and awe of what were once women, disrobing and revealing their hunky, muscular forms, clad only in speedos.

In the wake of the death of the first man to walk on the moon, I decided to try to verify something I'd been told on the day he made that walk.  I remember it well.  I was 9 years old and my father's employer was having their annual summer picnic at a park in Van Nuys.  Back in the day, televisions were portable and had these funny things called antennae, also known as 'rabbit ears'.  You twisted and turned them and got the best possible picture, without any cables being hooked into any walls or any satellite dishes.  So we were all gathered around when Neil Armstrong left the LEM (Lunar Excursion Module) and uttered those famous words.  And I overheard one adult saying to another, "they picked him over Aldrin to be first because he's a civilian".  It made sense in later years, in 1969 the war in Vietnam was very unpopular and so was the military.  I decided to try to find out if it was true.

Turns out, based on the best information available that it isn't.  Armstrong was senior to Aldrin in the astronaut program and was therefore the mission commander.  The commander's seat in the LEM was the one closest to the hatch to leave the vehicle.  It was almost impossible for them to move around inside in order to change positions so Aldrin could get out before Armstrong.  It turns out that Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon solely because his seat as mission commander was closest to the door.

You may not know who Sheriff Joe is, but he's the Sheriff of Maricopa County in Arizona and he's famous for his wild political positions, particularly regarding immigration.  He was skewered recently by comedian George Lopez in a stand-up routine.  Well, now Sheriff Joe has invited George Lopez to appear at a fundraiser for abused animals, and so far Lopez isn't responding.  Come on George, it's for a good cause and you can tell all the same jokes about Sheriff Joe again.