There are a lot of great lines in...

"Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" but one in particular comes to mind at this moment.  Luke Skywalker's Uncle Owen is looking over the droids that the Jawas are trying to sell and he comes upon SeeThreepio and says "I suppose you're programmed for etiqutte and protocol".

We as humans do work at protocol and etiquette but there are times when it is difficult to know what the proper protocol and etiquette is in a situation.  Earlier today I saw someone eating their lunch where I was picking something up to have later on today (they're serving cornish game hens for dinner here and that's not a favorite of mine) and I saw a woman who had food on her face.  I didn't hesitate to go over and whisper to her that "you've got something on your cheek".  She took out her compact, wiped it off and then thanked me.

A few minutes later I was at the drugstore to run one last errand and as I was waiting to open my door, there was a young woman standing between my car and the one to my left, waiting to get in on the passenger side.  She was facing the door and I couldn't help but notice that her low-rise trousers had fallen lower, and were displaying her thong underwear.  I didn't know if I should or shouldn't say anything.  Maybe she was doing it intentionally.  Maybe she would think me a pervert for noticing and/or commenting.  I decided to remain silent. 

Do women whose pants have fallen that low want to know this fact?  Back in the day when women wore dresses, they wore slips and if a woman's slip was showing, it was considered one's duty to inform her of this.  Is it that Spanx have replaced slips and that's why I never see a woman's slip showing, or did they just become obsolete?  Never mind, that's not important.  What is important is do women want to know if they are showing a little more 'cheek' than they might have intended to.

It's tough enough for men to deal with issues along these lines.  I've mentioned this before but there is absolutely no "good" answer to the question posed by your wife/girlfriend when she asks "does this dress make me look fat?"  There are several possibilities:

"I think it looks nice on you."
"Maybe a little, but I still love you madly."
"No, you look great.  You haven't changed a bit."
"Honey, it's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's you being fat that makes you look fat."

The first three will probably result in you being called a liar.  The last will probably result in you getting a black eye and/or a divorce.  It may be the most honest, but this is not a situation where honesty is called for.  This question isn't quite on the level of "answer yes or no, do you still beat your wife", but it's closed.  Just as neither yes or no are adequate answers to that question, there's no truly adequate answer to the question about dress and fat.  I've decided that if I were ever to again be in a romantic relationship with a woman and she asks that question I'd decline to answer.  "Honey, I'm not going to say anything because no matter what I say will be wrong.  You have to decide if you're happy or not with how you look in that dress."

I don't know if it will work, but at least it's within the bounds of proper protocol and etiquette.