There was a song that begins...

"Sign, sign, everywhere a sign."

That song was on my mind this morning as I was trying to exit from the parking lot at the Westfield Century City Shopping Mall.  I'd just seen "Silver Linings Playbook" and wanted to run to the market to see if there were any Hostess products left on the shelf.  What happened next distracted me so much, I shopped without checking the baked goods aisle and will have to hope there might be some Hostess stuff left tomorrow (doubtful).

In case you haven't been to that mall in recent years, the exit that dumps you out onto Constellation has two exits.  Both are clearly marked "Right Turn" only with signs.  I'm going out the left of the two exits, with a car exiting on my right.  Constellation runs East/West and when you exit, you are turning and going West.

So the complete idiot on my right (a woman, although this isn't a commentary on women drivers, merely remarking that this driver happened to be a woman), not only didn't turn right, she turned left into the Westbound lane next to the building and went back into the parking lot through the adjacent entrance.  She could have gone around the block.  She didn't feel the need.  She cut me off and did not acknowledge my car's horn at all.  Apparently she was so focused on getting back into the garage before being struck by oncoming traffic, nothing else was so important.

That was my second near accident of the morning caused by another driver.  The earlier incident, also featuring a woman behind the wheel (and this time her gender is relevant) involved her swerving into my lane as she was busily applying her makeup while driving at nearly 40 miles per hour.  Apparently putting on her mascara or lipstick or whatever was more important than remaining in her own lane.  Fortunately there was no on-coming traffic as I had to go over the double yellow line to avoid being struck on the passenger side.

Again, no knock on women drivers.  I find them to be just as safe, if not safer, than male drivers.  But there's no need to be applying cosmetics at any speed above zero.  Just as there is no need to be reading at any speed above zero.  I don't have a problem with eating food or drinking a beverage in the car.  You can do this without looking at the food or drink.  You may be very slightly distracted but I've never seen an accident caused by munching on a burger.  Now if you're drinking hot coffee and you spill it in your lap, that could be problematic.  That would require some serious concentration, to maintain focus on the road as you experience the agony of scalding hot liquid in your lap.

I actually wanted to get back here for lunch today but the movie ran longer than expected and the wait in the men's room afterward was also protracted.  Apparently other movies let out at right about the same moment, making for the full crowd scene in both restrooms.  So by the time I would have gotten back, I'd have gotten the evil eye from the servers that you get whenever you show for a meal more than 40 minutes after the appointed hour.

Fun With Classified Ads:

"Apartment maintenance superwiser"  Wonder if they'd hire Ken Jennings?  Marilyn vos Savant?

"Hiring Bilingual Maids"  Are they going to clean in two languages??

"Women, people of color, gay and trans folks and those passionate about spreading sex positivity are highly encouraged to apply."  Now that's equal opportunity, although perhaps it should read NPNA for No Prudes Need Apply.

"Witch In Charge & Clerk WANTED"  So are there assistant witches working there and they need a boss?

This Date in History:

On this date in 1493, Christopher Columbus sets foot on what is now Puerto Rico.
On this date in 1863, President Lincoln delivered his most famous speech, the Gettysburg Address.
On this date in 1950, General Dwight D. Eisenhower becomes Supreme Commander of NATO -Europe.
On this date in 1959, Ford Motor Corporation discontinues the Edsel.
On this date in 1969, Apollo 12 astronauts Pete Conrad and Alan Bean land on the moon and become the 3rd and 4th humans to walk on its surface.
On this date in 1979, the Ayatollah Khomeini orders the release of 13 female and black hostages from the seized U.S. Embassy.
On this date in 1990, the pop due Milli Vanilli are stripped of their Grammy Awards after it becomes known they did not sing on their hit songs.
And on this date in 1998, the U.S. House of Representatives begins impeachment hearings against President Bill Clinton.