A Wedding Cancelation
The following was sent via mass email to the invitees to a once-in-a-lifetime, destination wedding.
Dear Former Friends,
This is to let you know that the wedding that was to be held on Saturday, June 31st of 2019 has been irrevocably canceled. You may still want to avail yourself of the plane tickets/hotel reservations, especially if you purchased the less-expensive, non-refundable options. I will not be there on Hayman Island, near the Great Barrier Reef. I do not know, nor do I care where my former fiancé will be.
The plans for the best wedding ever have been canceled, thanks to the unwillingness of the majority of you to contribute to my wedding. I carefully selected only those individuals who I felt truly connected to, to invite to our wedding. I spent weeks personally doing the beautiful calligraphy on the personalized invitation you received. I spent months planning this event. All I asked was that you contribute the small sum of $25,000 plus your personal travel expense to share a weekend of true joy with me. And none of you were willing to give, even when I reduced the amount requested to only $10,000.
My maid of honor, my life-long best friend had the nerve to come to my home uninvited to throw the invitation in my face and tell me she never wanted to speak to me again. I will happily make her desire come true. I have blocked her on all social media and will be seeking a restraining order to keep her at least 100 yard away from me in perpetuity.
Were my desires so unreasonable? I asked only that all of the women attending the wedding, save the bridesmaids and my mother, refrain from wearing makeup of any kind. That they all wear their hair in low ponytails, refrain from wearing any color approaching white, wear only long pants rather than dresses or skirts, and not speak to me or my future husband until we were departing from the reception. Was it too much to ask that you not bring your phones to the ceremony and reception and rely on the highly skilled photographers and videographers we were going to use to record the event? Those of you who said you wanted to be able to record your own presence at MY wedding via selfie are clearly too entitled to be friends of mine.
* * *
Maybe it's a fake. Maybe not. But it is sad and funny all at once.
Dear Former Friends,
This is to let you know that the wedding that was to be held on Saturday, June 31st of 2019 has been irrevocably canceled. You may still want to avail yourself of the plane tickets/hotel reservations, especially if you purchased the less-expensive, non-refundable options. I will not be there on Hayman Island, near the Great Barrier Reef. I do not know, nor do I care where my former fiancé will be.
The plans for the best wedding ever have been canceled, thanks to the unwillingness of the majority of you to contribute to my wedding. I carefully selected only those individuals who I felt truly connected to, to invite to our wedding. I spent weeks personally doing the beautiful calligraphy on the personalized invitation you received. I spent months planning this event. All I asked was that you contribute the small sum of $25,000 plus your personal travel expense to share a weekend of true joy with me. And none of you were willing to give, even when I reduced the amount requested to only $10,000.
My maid of honor, my life-long best friend had the nerve to come to my home uninvited to throw the invitation in my face and tell me she never wanted to speak to me again. I will happily make her desire come true. I have blocked her on all social media and will be seeking a restraining order to keep her at least 100 yard away from me in perpetuity.
Were my desires so unreasonable? I asked only that all of the women attending the wedding, save the bridesmaids and my mother, refrain from wearing makeup of any kind. That they all wear their hair in low ponytails, refrain from wearing any color approaching white, wear only long pants rather than dresses or skirts, and not speak to me or my future husband until we were departing from the reception. Was it too much to ask that you not bring your phones to the ceremony and reception and rely on the highly skilled photographers and videographers we were going to use to record the event? Those of you who said you wanted to be able to record your own presence at MY wedding via selfie are clearly too entitled to be friends of mine.
* * *
Maybe it's a fake. Maybe not. But it is sad and funny all at once.
posted by me at 5:59 PM
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