This one isn't a Friyay
I turned on the television when I woke up this morning. CNN was reporting the death of Anthony Bourdain. I was stunned. Now it's nearly 6 in the evening and I'm stunned once again. I've just read the final column of Charles Krauthammer. In it he reveals that he is dying of cancer and his doctors estimate he has only a few weeks left to live. The final line is one for the ages.
"I am sad to leave, but I leave with the knowledge that I lived the life I intended."
How many of us can truly say that? Our intentions when we are young and starting out can easily be pushed aside by the realities of life. I had no intention of joining the military until my senior year in high school. I thought I'd go to college. Become a big success like my father. He changed the world in which we live, through the creation of the first frequent flyer program. That's a tough act to follow.
I almost didn't make it through basic training. But I preserved and wound up being a student leader and honor graduate of technical training. I won awards and honors. I traveled the world. I thought it would be my career. Then things changed. So I went in another direction. And another. And still others. In the wildest dreams of my youth, I never imagined I would wind up doing what I do these days. I've been a journalist. An FM jock. A film critic (which I still do for fun). I worked in a private school for nearly 17 years, something else I never imagined possible. I cannot say that I am living the life I intended. I intended to be physically fit, to run and cycle regularly; things I can no longer do.
I'm saddened by all of the losses of this week. I was shocked to read that data shows an increase of 25% in the suicide rate in this nation over the last two decades. I am heartened by news reports that there has been a sharp increase in calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. People are talking about depression. People are talking about how we need to be ready and willing to reach out, to check-in on the people who we care about.
That is one of the major issues for those of us who are dealing with depression. We become isolated and our isolation, combined with the aspect of our illness that overwhelm us can often prevent us from reaching out for help. When a friend is silent for longer than usual, we need to be the one to reach out to them. They may want to reach out. They may be in need of help. But they may be unable to reach out. Earlier today I wrote about how we cannot see the signs of someone suffering from depression. We can't see them by just looking.
We can see them when we see changes in behavior. Someone who posts frequently on social media suddenly going silent. A friend who texts you regularly abruptly stops. Those are signs we can see. Then it is on us to take action.
* * *
Val Kilmer posted on Facebook that he is angry with Anthony Bourdain's choice to take his own life. Here's an excerpt:
Oh the darkness.
Oh the dark thick pain of loss. The selfishness.
There is a small part of me that finds suicide to be a very selfish act, because of the damage done to those left behind. A very small part. I felt it was very selfish when a friend took his own life in a very gruesome way. My first sergeant and I found his body when he didn't show up for work. I will spare you the gruesome details of the method and result. The worst part was that he recorded his final act on video, leaving a taped suicide note.
It is easy to view suicide as a selfish act. That ignores certain realities. It ignores the pain that the person is feeling, pain so all-encompassing that it drove them to take their own life. When you feel that kind of pain, the future feelings of those left behind are pushed aside.
Some who have come back from the brink of that dark precipice have talked about feeling that they were already dead inside. Their lives over.
Depression is deceptive. It makes you think there are no answers. That the proverbial light at the end of that long, dark tunnel; doesn't exist. It is a con artist. A thief. Robbing you. Taking that which is good and replacing it with a total eclipse of blackness.
I understand Val Kilmer's anger. But we cannot attack or blame the victims. Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, and every other person who chose to take their own life is indeed a victim. A victim of a disease we spend too little time and resources battling.
Don't blame the victim. Help prevent others from becoming additional victims.
"I am sad to leave, but I leave with the knowledge that I lived the life I intended."
How many of us can truly say that? Our intentions when we are young and starting out can easily be pushed aside by the realities of life. I had no intention of joining the military until my senior year in high school. I thought I'd go to college. Become a big success like my father. He changed the world in which we live, through the creation of the first frequent flyer program. That's a tough act to follow.
I almost didn't make it through basic training. But I preserved and wound up being a student leader and honor graduate of technical training. I won awards and honors. I traveled the world. I thought it would be my career. Then things changed. So I went in another direction. And another. And still others. In the wildest dreams of my youth, I never imagined I would wind up doing what I do these days. I've been a journalist. An FM jock. A film critic (which I still do for fun). I worked in a private school for nearly 17 years, something else I never imagined possible. I cannot say that I am living the life I intended. I intended to be physically fit, to run and cycle regularly; things I can no longer do.
I'm saddened by all of the losses of this week. I was shocked to read that data shows an increase of 25% in the suicide rate in this nation over the last two decades. I am heartened by news reports that there has been a sharp increase in calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. People are talking about depression. People are talking about how we need to be ready and willing to reach out, to check-in on the people who we care about.
That is one of the major issues for those of us who are dealing with depression. We become isolated and our isolation, combined with the aspect of our illness that overwhelm us can often prevent us from reaching out for help. When a friend is silent for longer than usual, we need to be the one to reach out to them. They may want to reach out. They may be in need of help. But they may be unable to reach out. Earlier today I wrote about how we cannot see the signs of someone suffering from depression. We can't see them by just looking.
We can see them when we see changes in behavior. Someone who posts frequently on social media suddenly going silent. A friend who texts you regularly abruptly stops. Those are signs we can see. Then it is on us to take action.
* * *
Val Kilmer posted on Facebook that he is angry with Anthony Bourdain's choice to take his own life. Here's an excerpt:
Oh the darkness.
Oh the dark thick pain of loss. The selfishness.
There is a small part of me that finds suicide to be a very selfish act, because of the damage done to those left behind. A very small part. I felt it was very selfish when a friend took his own life in a very gruesome way. My first sergeant and I found his body when he didn't show up for work. I will spare you the gruesome details of the method and result. The worst part was that he recorded his final act on video, leaving a taped suicide note.
It is easy to view suicide as a selfish act. That ignores certain realities. It ignores the pain that the person is feeling, pain so all-encompassing that it drove them to take their own life. When you feel that kind of pain, the future feelings of those left behind are pushed aside.
Some who have come back from the brink of that dark precipice have talked about feeling that they were already dead inside. Their lives over.
Depression is deceptive. It makes you think there are no answers. That the proverbial light at the end of that long, dark tunnel; doesn't exist. It is a con artist. A thief. Robbing you. Taking that which is good and replacing it with a total eclipse of blackness.
I understand Val Kilmer's anger. But we cannot attack or blame the victims. Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, and every other person who chose to take their own life is indeed a victim. A victim of a disease we spend too little time and resources battling.
Don't blame the victim. Help prevent others from becoming additional victims.
posted by me at 6:34 PM
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