Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Should presidential candidates have to pass a civics exam?

Now that it appears the effort to force Donald J. Trump to release his tax returns to get on the ballot in California for 2020 has failed, it is being suggested that presidential candidates be subjected to a basic level civics test.

Our top-secret sources in the Trump Administration have informed us that in anticipation of that coming to pass, they prepared an exam for the Liar-in-Chief and I've obtained a copy of the questions and his responses.

Question #1 - What is the First Amendment and how does it work?

Trump - "It's that lousy thing that lets the failing Fake News write things about me that are actually true but make me look bad.  It isn't fair.  They should be looking at all the great things I've done, like breaking 85 twice this month at Trump National in Virginia."

Question #2 - The Second Amendment says "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."  Who is the militia?

Trump - "My people who buy lots of guns and bullets to keep those liberals from overthrowing my government."

Question #3 - What is a bump stock?

Trump - "That's one of my best dance moves.  Here, let me show you."

Question #4 - What does the Third Amendment do?

Trump - "You mean there are more than two of those things?  I hear people talking about how the 25th Amendment will be how the Fake News and those leftists get me out of office, but I never bothered reading the Constitution."

(Author's note:  Most people don't know what the Third Amendment actually says)

Question #5 - Let's skip the Fourth Amendment and go right to the Fifth Amendment.  Based on case law, law enforcement agents must recite the Miranda warning before questioning a suspect.  Do you know who Miranda was?

Trump - "I sure as hell do.  He's that Broadway guy, Lin Man something Miranda who warned that I'm going to hell because of how I've handled the situation in Puerto Rico after that hurricane.  I forget its name.  My FEMA people have done a tremendous job in a bigly way in spite of how awful the local government had let things get.  Miranda don't know shit."

Last Question - Can you describe the landmark Supreme Court Decision in Brown v Board of Education?

Trump - "Brown is that jerk governor in California whose biggest accomplishment in life was banging some rock singer.  He hasn't done anything except run up deficits and smoke pot."

Thank you sir for your candor.