The Olympic Games and terrorism
What a difference four decades makes. In 1972, as the Summer Games were about to open in Munich, there was little concern about terrorists, or what was then known as "Situation 21." Situation 21 was just one of 26 scenarios created by a West German forensic psychologist to forecast what terrorists might try to do at the games. Why not? Because the organizers of the games were afraid of the backlash they would encounter if there was too much security. The "Carefree Games" were specifically designed to present a much different image of Germany than the world had viewed in the 1936 Summer Games. So security was lax, the security fence around the Athlete's Village was only six feet high and the eight members of Black September (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_September_(group) had only to scale that low fence and then pry open the door to where the Israeli athletes were being housed. In the end, 11 Israelis, five terrorists and one West German police officer were dead.
Der Spiegel, a German magazine published a story in 2012 that claimed the Germans had been warned of plans by Palestinian terrorists to carry out an attack at the Munich Games. The story they published went on to say that this information was in the hands of the German Foreign Ministry and their "secret service" as much as three weeks before the Games began. They apparently ignored the warning.
42 years later, the Winter Games of 2014 are about to begin in Sochi. The terrorists threatening to attack someone or something at these Games aren't making their intentions secret. Vladimir Putin can brag all he wants about his "ring of steel", people's lives are at risk in Sochi. It would be foolish to think they aren't.
When the Soviet Union fell apart in 1991, military weaponry and supplies disappeared in droves. For terrorists to get guns and explosives in and around Sochi would not be all that difficult. Just as Neo-Nazis almost certainly helped the Black September terrorists in 1972, there are probably locals in Sochi who share political viewpoints with the various terrorists groups that are making these threats. Maybe they can keep the venues and the athlete's housing safe, but that's not going to be easy. The surrounding area is definitely a much greater risk. I wouldn't go to Sochi if you paid me six figures and provided me a dozen armed guards.
My real concern here is the propagation of the myth that the U. S. military can somehow "evacuate" the more than 200 athletes, along with coaches, trainers and support staff from the Sochi Games. A properly configured jumbo jet can handle more than 500 passengers. So in theory it would take only one, possibly two such jets to fly in and evacuate the American team. In theory.
The airport at Sochi is not certified to handle either the Boeing 747 or the A380 jumbo jets. It can handle 737s, 757s, neither of which can hold more than 300 passengers, and the 767 which can hold another 70 or so. It is a small airport whose location permits inbound aircraft to use only a seaside approach vector. There are more than 80 nations taking part in the 2014 Winter Games and more than 2,500 athletes. Who gets out first?
Then there's that little problem of providing security for the athletes being evacuated, and transporting them from the three villages that will be housing them to the airport. That will take several hundred troops. They'd have to be airlifted in, and then out when the mission was complete.
None of this takes into account the U. S. citizens who are at the Games as tourists, or rooting for family members/friends who are competing. That could double or triple the number of evacuees in the event of a terrorist attack. Or worse.
The members of the U. S. ski and snowboarding teams have already made it clear how they feel about this. They've hired an outside security firm to provide them with additional protection and evacuation contingencies.
The media may be selling the myth that we can rescue our athletes from Sochi, but I'm not buying.
* * *
Former Governor Mike Huckabee said, "Our party stands for the recognition of the equality of women and the capacity of women. That's not a war on them; it's a war for them. And if the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it, let's that that discussion all across America, because women are far more than Democrats have made them to be."
The more I watch and listen to the Republicans who are potential candidates for their party's nomination for the 2016 presidential election, the more I believe they will lose an election they could have easily won. Huckabee's defense of his remarks and attitude in claiming he's extoling the virtues of women rather than attacking them is ridiculous.
Women don't want birth control because they are helpless in controlling their reproductive systems or their libido. They want it because it's the safest way to ensure they won't have a child that they don't want. This isn't rocket science.
NJ Governor Chris Christie is allowing himself to be embroiled in scandals. Huckabee is saying things that will alienate a large segment of the voting population he would need to be nominated, and especially to win. Senator Ted Cruz's intransigence regarding the government shutdown will definitely haunt him. Donald Trump couldn't get elected javelin catcher, let alone dog catcher (I know, old joke). Rick Perry marginalized himself long ago.
Only Rand Paul, Jon Huntsman and Peter King, among those who are considered potential candidates haven't done something stupid since the 2012 election. Jeb Bush made it clear he wasn't going to run, but rumors swirl that he's reconsidering. He'll have to convince his mother to change her position on his candidacy since she's spoken stridently opposing such a move.
But at the rate Republicans are shooting themselves in the foot, there may be none left to run. At least none who could possibly win.
* * *
Banks have no business preventing customers from making large cash withdrawals at a branch, as long as they've properly verified the person's identity, and they comply with laws and banking regulations. Temporary ATM limits following fiascos like the Target thing are okay.
$700 for a Roomba 880? Wow.
I'm browsing through the Craigslist classifieds, but there are only a couple worthy of note. One is a "high-profile dental practice" looking to hire a sign twirler. Another was an ad for topless maids, offering $50 per hour plus tips.
Dear Abby got a letter from a woman complaining that her 21 year old daughter texted her the words "I'm pregnant" and it has upset her. She wrote "She's been dating a marijuana smoking man for less than a year and I'm disappointed at this outcome." So she's pregnant by this guy and the thing she notes first is that he smokes pot? Get a clue, lady.
Octomom Nadya Sulemon supports birth control...for pets. That's laughable.
Now that a judge says the hospital must take Marlise Munoz off of life support, I'm wondering if her husband will receive a bill from the hospital for these past weeks of unwanted care. They forced it upon him, he didn't want it. He shouldn't have to pay for it either.
It must be torture for Kobe Bryant to sit on the bench of the Lakers and watch them suck.
That some people worry that taking an IRA distribution might jeopardize their Social Security (read Insecurity) benefits just shows that those people need to do research or talk to experts.
Arizona Senator John McClain was "censured" by the AZ Republican Party for his voting record being insufficiently conservative. He's not up for election until 2016 and he'll be 80 then. Censuring him is like urinating into the wind.
Almost every time I read about something Kris Jenner has done, I'm more thankful than ever for the wonderful mother that fate gave me.
Mariska Hargitay looks damn good for 50.
Deputy Dan Akyroyd? Yep. Publicity stunt, or just trying to give back? Probably a bit of both.
* * *
January 25th in History:
41 – After a night of negotiation, Claudius is accepted as Roman Emperor by the Senate.
750 – In the Battle of the Zab, the Abbasid rebels defeat the Umayyad Caliphate, leading to overthrow of the dynasty.
1348 – A strong earthquake strikes the South Alpine region of Friuli in modern Italy, causing considerable damage to buildings as far away as Rome.
1494 – Alfonso II becomes King of Naples.
1533 – Henry VIII of England secretly marries his second wife Anne Boleyn.
1554 – Founding of São Paulo city, Brazil.
1573 – Battle of Mikatagahara: In Japan, Takeda Shingen defeats Tokugawa Ieyasu.
1575 – Luanda, the capital of Angola, is founded by the Portuguese navigator Paulo Dias de Novais.
1704 – The Battle of Ayubale results in the destruction of most of the Spanish missions in Florida.
1755 – Moscow University is established on Tatiana Day.
1765 – Port Egmont, the first British settlement in the Falkland Islands at the southern tip of South America, is founded.
1787 – Shays' Rebellion: The rebellion's largest confrontation, outside the Springfield Armory, results in the killing of four rebels and the wounding of twenty.
1791 – The British Parliament passes the Constitutional Act of 1791 and splits the old Province of Quebec into Upper and Lower Canada.
1792 – The London Corresponding Society is founded.
1858 – The Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn is played at the marriage of Queen Victoria's daughter, Victoria, and Friedrich of Prussia, and becomes a popular wedding recessional.
1879 – The Bulgarian National Bank is founded.
1881 – Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell form the Oriental Telephone Company.
1890 – Nellie Bly completes her round-the-world journey in 72 days.
1909 – Richard Strauss's opera Elektra receives its debut performance at the Dresden State Opera.
1915 – Alexander Graham Bell inaugurates U.S. transcontinental telephone service, speaking from New York to Thomas Watson in San Francisco.
1918 – Ukraine declares independence from Bolshevik Russia.
1919 – The League of Nations is founded.
1924 – The 1924 Winter Olympics opens in Chamonix, in the French Alps, inaugurating the Winter Olympic Games.
1932 – Second Sino-Japanese War: The Chinese National Revolutionary Army begins its defense of Harbin.
1937 – The Guiding Light debuts on NBC radio from Chicago. In 1952 it moves to CBS television, where it remains until Sept. 18, 2009.
1941 – Pope Pius XII elevates the Apostolic Vicariate of the Hawaiian Islands to the dignity of a diocese. It becomes the Roman Catholic Diocese of Honolulu.
1942 – World War II: Thailand declares war on the United States and United Kingdom.
1944 – Florence Li Tim-Oi is ordained in China, becoming the first woman Anglican priest.
1945 – World War II: The Battle of the Bulge ends.
1946 – The United Mine Workers rejoins the American Federation of Labor.
1947 – Thomas Goldsmith Jr. files a patent for a cathode ray tubeamusement device
1949 – At the Hollywood Athletic Club the first Emmy Awards are presented.
1955 – The Soviet Union ends the state of war with Germany.
1960 – The National Association of Broadcasters reacts to the "payola" scandal by threatening fines for any disc jockeys who accept money for playing particular records.
1961 – In Washington, D.C. John F. Kennedy delivers the first live presidential television news conference.
1969 – Brazilian Army captain Carlos Lamarca deserts in order to fight against the military dictatorship, taking with him 10 machine guns and 63 rifles.
1971 – Charles Manson and three female "Family" members are found guilty of the 1969 Tate-LaBianca murders.
1971 – Idi Amin leads a coup deposing Milton Obote and becomes Uganda's president.
1979 – Pope John Paul II starts his first official papal visits outside Italy to the Bahamas, Dominican Republic and Mexico.
1980 – Mother Teresa is honored with India's highest civilian award, the Bharat Ratna
1981 – Jiang Qing, the widow of Mao Zedong, is sentenced to death.
1986 – The National Resistance Movement topples the government of Tito Okello in Uganda.
1993 – Five people are shot outside the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia. Two are killed and three wounded.
1994 – The Clementine space probe launches.
1995 – The Norwegian rocket incident: Russia almost launches a nuclear attack after it mistakes Black Brant XII, a Norwegian research rocket, for a US Trident missile.
1996 – Billy Bailey becomes the last person to be hanged in the USA.
1998 – During a historic visit to Cuba, Pope John Paul II demands political reforms and the release of political prisoners while condemning US attempts to isolate the country.
1998 – A suicide attack by the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam on Sri Lanka's Temple of the Tooth kills eight and injures 25 others.
1999 – A 6.0 Richter scale earthquake hits western Colombia killing at least 1,000.
2003 – 2003 Invasion of Iraq: A group of people leave London, England, for Baghdad, Iraq, to serve as human shields, intending to prevent the U.S.-led coalition troops from bombing certain locations.
2004 – Opportunity rover (MER-B) lands on surface of Mars.
2005 – A stampede at the Mandhradevi temple in Maharashtra, India kills at least 258.
2006 – Three independent observing campaigns announce the discovery of OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb through gravitational microlensing, the first cool rocky/icy extrasolar planet around a main-sequence star.
2006 – Mexican professional wrestler Juana Barraza is arrested in connection with the serial killing of at least 10 elderly women.
Famous Folk Born on January 25th:
Robert Burns
William Colgate
General George Pickett
Charles Curtis
W. Somerset Maugham
Virginia Woolf
Ernie Harwell
Sally Starr
Jean Tattinger
Lou "The Toe" Groza
Eduard Shevardnadze
Dean Jones
Corazon Aquino
Conrad Burns
Diana Hyland
Etta James
Leigh Taylor-Young
Steve Prefontaine (his death at such a young age was a tragedy...what he might have done...)
The Honky Tonk Man
Dinah Manhoff
Ana Ortiz
Alicia Keys
Officer Clark: Don't you think I'd look good in a moustache?
Bimbeau: You'd be perfect. You'd be a perfect horse's ass.
#2
Sally: Turk, did you come?
Newbomb Turk: A little.
Sally: A little? What do you mean a little? Either you came or you didn't come. Did you come or not?
Newbomb Turk: I came.
Sally: Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.
#3
[Sally's friends are topless sunbathing by the pool]
Sally: I don't know why you're doing that. The last time I did that my tits peeled so much I went from a B cup to an A.
#4
[Dudley is calling his mother from Tubby's]
Dudley: Mother?
Dudley's Mother: Dudley?
Dudley: Mother, I am calling you to tell you I will be out rather late tonight. In point of fact, I might not be in at all.
Dudley's Mother: You're not in bed, dear?
Dudley: Mother, I have a assignation with a young lady. I am going to explore the boundaries of my manhood. Mother, I am going to get laid.
Dudley's Mother: You're going to be late, dear?
Dudley: Not late, mother, laid; the past participle of the verb 'to lay'. Mother, I am going to screw someone.
Dudley's Mother: Oh!
[faints]
Dudley: Now, I just have to figure out how.
Der Spiegel, a German magazine published a story in 2012 that claimed the Germans had been warned of plans by Palestinian terrorists to carry out an attack at the Munich Games. The story they published went on to say that this information was in the hands of the German Foreign Ministry and their "secret service" as much as three weeks before the Games began. They apparently ignored the warning.
42 years later, the Winter Games of 2014 are about to begin in Sochi. The terrorists threatening to attack someone or something at these Games aren't making their intentions secret. Vladimir Putin can brag all he wants about his "ring of steel", people's lives are at risk in Sochi. It would be foolish to think they aren't.
When the Soviet Union fell apart in 1991, military weaponry and supplies disappeared in droves. For terrorists to get guns and explosives in and around Sochi would not be all that difficult. Just as Neo-Nazis almost certainly helped the Black September terrorists in 1972, there are probably locals in Sochi who share political viewpoints with the various terrorists groups that are making these threats. Maybe they can keep the venues and the athlete's housing safe, but that's not going to be easy. The surrounding area is definitely a much greater risk. I wouldn't go to Sochi if you paid me six figures and provided me a dozen armed guards.
My real concern here is the propagation of the myth that the U. S. military can somehow "evacuate" the more than 200 athletes, along with coaches, trainers and support staff from the Sochi Games. A properly configured jumbo jet can handle more than 500 passengers. So in theory it would take only one, possibly two such jets to fly in and evacuate the American team. In theory.
The airport at Sochi is not certified to handle either the Boeing 747 or the A380 jumbo jets. It can handle 737s, 757s, neither of which can hold more than 300 passengers, and the 767 which can hold another 70 or so. It is a small airport whose location permits inbound aircraft to use only a seaside approach vector. There are more than 80 nations taking part in the 2014 Winter Games and more than 2,500 athletes. Who gets out first?
Then there's that little problem of providing security for the athletes being evacuated, and transporting them from the three villages that will be housing them to the airport. That will take several hundred troops. They'd have to be airlifted in, and then out when the mission was complete.
None of this takes into account the U. S. citizens who are at the Games as tourists, or rooting for family members/friends who are competing. That could double or triple the number of evacuees in the event of a terrorist attack. Or worse.
The members of the U. S. ski and snowboarding teams have already made it clear how they feel about this. They've hired an outside security firm to provide them with additional protection and evacuation contingencies.
The media may be selling the myth that we can rescue our athletes from Sochi, but I'm not buying.
* * *
Former Governor Mike Huckabee said, "Our party stands for the recognition of the equality of women and the capacity of women. That's not a war on them; it's a war for them. And if the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it, let's that that discussion all across America, because women are far more than Democrats have made them to be."
The more I watch and listen to the Republicans who are potential candidates for their party's nomination for the 2016 presidential election, the more I believe they will lose an election they could have easily won. Huckabee's defense of his remarks and attitude in claiming he's extoling the virtues of women rather than attacking them is ridiculous.
Women don't want birth control because they are helpless in controlling their reproductive systems or their libido. They want it because it's the safest way to ensure they won't have a child that they don't want. This isn't rocket science.
NJ Governor Chris Christie is allowing himself to be embroiled in scandals. Huckabee is saying things that will alienate a large segment of the voting population he would need to be nominated, and especially to win. Senator Ted Cruz's intransigence regarding the government shutdown will definitely haunt him. Donald Trump couldn't get elected javelin catcher, let alone dog catcher (I know, old joke). Rick Perry marginalized himself long ago.
Only Rand Paul, Jon Huntsman and Peter King, among those who are considered potential candidates haven't done something stupid since the 2012 election. Jeb Bush made it clear he wasn't going to run, but rumors swirl that he's reconsidering. He'll have to convince his mother to change her position on his candidacy since she's spoken stridently opposing such a move.
But at the rate Republicans are shooting themselves in the foot, there may be none left to run. At least none who could possibly win.
* * *
Banks have no business preventing customers from making large cash withdrawals at a branch, as long as they've properly verified the person's identity, and they comply with laws and banking regulations. Temporary ATM limits following fiascos like the Target thing are okay.
$700 for a Roomba 880? Wow.
I'm browsing through the Craigslist classifieds, but there are only a couple worthy of note. One is a "high-profile dental practice" looking to hire a sign twirler. Another was an ad for topless maids, offering $50 per hour plus tips.
Dear Abby got a letter from a woman complaining that her 21 year old daughter texted her the words "I'm pregnant" and it has upset her. She wrote "She's been dating a marijuana smoking man for less than a year and I'm disappointed at this outcome." So she's pregnant by this guy and the thing she notes first is that he smokes pot? Get a clue, lady.
Octomom Nadya Sulemon supports birth control...for pets. That's laughable.
Now that a judge says the hospital must take Marlise Munoz off of life support, I'm wondering if her husband will receive a bill from the hospital for these past weeks of unwanted care. They forced it upon him, he didn't want it. He shouldn't have to pay for it either.
It must be torture for Kobe Bryant to sit on the bench of the Lakers and watch them suck.
That some people worry that taking an IRA distribution might jeopardize their Social Security (read Insecurity) benefits just shows that those people need to do research or talk to experts.
Arizona Senator John McClain was "censured" by the AZ Republican Party for his voting record being insufficiently conservative. He's not up for election until 2016 and he'll be 80 then. Censuring him is like urinating into the wind.
Almost every time I read about something Kris Jenner has done, I'm more thankful than ever for the wonderful mother that fate gave me.
Mariska Hargitay looks damn good for 50.
Deputy Dan Akyroyd? Yep. Publicity stunt, or just trying to give back? Probably a bit of both.
* * *
January 25th in History:
41 – After a night of negotiation, Claudius is accepted as Roman Emperor by the Senate.
750 – In the Battle of the Zab, the Abbasid rebels defeat the Umayyad Caliphate, leading to overthrow of the dynasty.
1348 – A strong earthquake strikes the South Alpine region of Friuli in modern Italy, causing considerable damage to buildings as far away as Rome.
1494 – Alfonso II becomes King of Naples.
1533 – Henry VIII of England secretly marries his second wife Anne Boleyn.
1554 – Founding of São Paulo city, Brazil.
1573 – Battle of Mikatagahara: In Japan, Takeda Shingen defeats Tokugawa Ieyasu.
1575 – Luanda, the capital of Angola, is founded by the Portuguese navigator Paulo Dias de Novais.
1704 – The Battle of Ayubale results in the destruction of most of the Spanish missions in Florida.
1755 – Moscow University is established on Tatiana Day.
1765 – Port Egmont, the first British settlement in the Falkland Islands at the southern tip of South America, is founded.
1787 – Shays' Rebellion: The rebellion's largest confrontation, outside the Springfield Armory, results in the killing of four rebels and the wounding of twenty.
1791 – The British Parliament passes the Constitutional Act of 1791 and splits the old Province of Quebec into Upper and Lower Canada.
1792 – The London Corresponding Society is founded.
1858 – The Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn is played at the marriage of Queen Victoria's daughter, Victoria, and Friedrich of Prussia, and becomes a popular wedding recessional.
1879 – The Bulgarian National Bank is founded.
1881 – Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell form the Oriental Telephone Company.
1890 – Nellie Bly completes her round-the-world journey in 72 days.
1909 – Richard Strauss's opera Elektra receives its debut performance at the Dresden State Opera.
1915 – Alexander Graham Bell inaugurates U.S. transcontinental telephone service, speaking from New York to Thomas Watson in San Francisco.
1918 – Ukraine declares independence from Bolshevik Russia.
1919 – The League of Nations is founded.
1924 – The 1924 Winter Olympics opens in Chamonix, in the French Alps, inaugurating the Winter Olympic Games.
1932 – Second Sino-Japanese War: The Chinese National Revolutionary Army begins its defense of Harbin.
1937 – The Guiding Light debuts on NBC radio from Chicago. In 1952 it moves to CBS television, where it remains until Sept. 18, 2009.
1941 – Pope Pius XII elevates the Apostolic Vicariate of the Hawaiian Islands to the dignity of a diocese. It becomes the Roman Catholic Diocese of Honolulu.
1942 – World War II: Thailand declares war on the United States and United Kingdom.
1944 – Florence Li Tim-Oi is ordained in China, becoming the first woman Anglican priest.
1945 – World War II: The Battle of the Bulge ends.
1946 – The United Mine Workers rejoins the American Federation of Labor.
1947 – Thomas Goldsmith Jr. files a patent for a cathode ray tubeamusement device
1949 – At the Hollywood Athletic Club the first Emmy Awards are presented.
1955 – The Soviet Union ends the state of war with Germany.
1960 – The National Association of Broadcasters reacts to the "payola" scandal by threatening fines for any disc jockeys who accept money for playing particular records.
1961 – In Washington, D.C. John F. Kennedy delivers the first live presidential television news conference.
1969 – Brazilian Army captain Carlos Lamarca deserts in order to fight against the military dictatorship, taking with him 10 machine guns and 63 rifles.
1971 – Charles Manson and three female "Family" members are found guilty of the 1969 Tate-LaBianca murders.
1971 – Idi Amin leads a coup deposing Milton Obote and becomes Uganda's president.
1979 – Pope John Paul II starts his first official papal visits outside Italy to the Bahamas, Dominican Republic and Mexico.
1980 – Mother Teresa is honored with India's highest civilian award, the Bharat Ratna
1981 – Jiang Qing, the widow of Mao Zedong, is sentenced to death.
1986 – The National Resistance Movement topples the government of Tito Okello in Uganda.
1993 – Five people are shot outside the CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia. Two are killed and three wounded.
1994 – The Clementine space probe launches.
1995 – The Norwegian rocket incident: Russia almost launches a nuclear attack after it mistakes Black Brant XII, a Norwegian research rocket, for a US Trident missile.
1996 – Billy Bailey becomes the last person to be hanged in the USA.
1998 – During a historic visit to Cuba, Pope John Paul II demands political reforms and the release of political prisoners while condemning US attempts to isolate the country.
1998 – A suicide attack by the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam on Sri Lanka's Temple of the Tooth kills eight and injures 25 others.
1999 – A 6.0 Richter scale earthquake hits western Colombia killing at least 1,000.
2003 – 2003 Invasion of Iraq: A group of people leave London, England, for Baghdad, Iraq, to serve as human shields, intending to prevent the U.S.-led coalition troops from bombing certain locations.
2004 – Opportunity rover (MER-B) lands on surface of Mars.
2005 – A stampede at the Mandhradevi temple in Maharashtra, India kills at least 258.
2006 – Three independent observing campaigns announce the discovery of OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb through gravitational microlensing, the first cool rocky/icy extrasolar planet around a main-sequence star.
2006 – Mexican professional wrestler Juana Barraza is arrested in connection with the serial killing of at least 10 elderly women.
Famous Folk Born on January 25th:
Robert Burns
William Colgate
General George Pickett
Charles Curtis
W. Somerset Maugham
Virginia Woolf
Ernie Harwell
Sally Starr
Jean Tattinger
Lou "The Toe" Groza
Eduard Shevardnadze
Dean Jones
Corazon Aquino
Conrad Burns
Diana Hyland
Etta James
Leigh Taylor-Young
Steve Prefontaine (his death at such a young age was a tragedy...what he might have done...)
The Honky Tonk Man
Dinah Manhoff
Ana Ortiz
Alicia Keys
Officer Clark: Don't you think I'd look good in a moustache?
Bimbeau: You'd be perfect. You'd be a perfect horse's ass.
#2
Sally: Turk, did you come?
Newbomb Turk: A little.
Sally: A little? What do you mean a little? Either you came or you didn't come. Did you come or not?
Newbomb Turk: I came.
Sally: Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.
#3
[Sally's friends are topless sunbathing by the pool]
Sally: I don't know why you're doing that. The last time I did that my tits peeled so much I went from a B cup to an A.
#4
[Dudley is calling his mother from Tubby's]
Dudley: Mother?
Dudley's Mother: Dudley?
Dudley: Mother, I am calling you to tell you I will be out rather late tonight. In point of fact, I might not be in at all.
Dudley's Mother: You're not in bed, dear?
Dudley: Mother, I have a assignation with a young lady. I am going to explore the boundaries of my manhood. Mother, I am going to get laid.
Dudley's Mother: You're going to be late, dear?
Dudley: Not late, mother, laid; the past participle of the verb 'to lay'. Mother, I am going to screw someone.
Dudley's Mother: Oh!
[faints]
Dudley: Now, I just have to figure out how.
posted by me at 8:23 PM
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