Is there just one great love in one's lifetime?
This is something I wonder about from time to time. I don't believe that our futures or our lives are laid out in front of us as part of some grand scheme. We're here and we make of our lives what we choose to make of them. That being said, I still wonder if we're limited to just one great love.
My grandparents (maternal) were married for over 57 years. When my grandmother finally succumbed to a long-term illness, after several years, we all thought it would be a good thing for my grandfather. He put a ton of effort into visiting and caring for her. Now she was finally at rest and he still had good years left, even though he was 84. Six days later he went to the front door to get the morning newspaper and just dropped dead. Broken heart? Couldn't go on without his one great love? We'll never know.
My aunt and uncle (my father's sister) have been married well over 50 years. I haven't seen them for a long time, but I remember quite well the last time I did. They doted on each other. They held hands and it wasn't for show. They danced together and held each other very close. A couple clearly much in love.
Neither of my ex-wives were the great love of my life. I know that now. Not that I didn't love them, or think I did at the time. I did. But they weren't the great love of a lifetime. I've now narrowed it down to two women and one of them was probably the great love of my lifetime. I doubt I will find love again.
One I met in 1980 while stationed on Guam. She had dated someone else before I arrived and they had a bad breakup. We became close friends first and moved forward slowly from there. By the time we were ready to explore our shared feelings, it was time for her to leave. I wanted to explore the possibilities and talked about arranging to get transferred to where she was going. She said no. I acceded to her wishes.
Then in 1984 I met someone else, again while outside the contiguous 48. I was in the Republic of Korea. For us the connection was immediate and intense. We were practically inseperable from the day after we met. But a few months later we had to part. I was bound for Nevada and she was going to Italy. We promised to keep things going until her assignment in Italy ended (it was scheduled to be 24 months). We discussed possibly meeting somewhere in Europe. We would write often, talk on the phone at least every other week and so on. It went well for about seven months and then it became problematic. Finally, she stopped taking my calls, without explanation. After a few more weeks, I wrote one more letter and then I stopped trying to reach her. I found out through the grapevine that she'd decided she wanted to take a new assignment in Sicily rather than return to the U.S. to where I was or somewhere else that I could get to.
A few years later I was living with the woman who would become my second wife. I had kept some of my mail going to a post office box in Torrance that I was sharing with a family member. I went to pick my mail up one day and there was a card from the woman who'd just disappeared from my life. She poured her feelings into the letter she enclosed in the card. She'd been scared. She had been afraid of committing to returning to the U.S., knowing it would be at least two years before she could go back overseas. She'd discovered that I'd left the service and wanted to know how I was doing. She wanted to let me know that she wanted another chance, that her feelings hadn't changed.
What did I do? What would you have done? I'll let you know what I did tomorrow.
* * *
Remember the name Daniel Ellsberg? He called Edward Snowden's disclosures of classified information the "most important leak in American History". That's a major statement when it comes from the man who leaked "The Pentagon Papers".
What's the difference between Ellsberg and Snowden? This quote from Ellsberg at the time he admitted having leaked the documents. "I did this clearly at my own jeopardy and I am prepared to answer all the consequences of this decision."
In other words, he didn't flee. He didn't hide away, trying to avoid responsibility for the consequences of his actions. You can justify it all you want, but he broke the law. And while this surveillance of the people is reprehensible, overly-invasive and violates our right to privacy; as the law is written in our nation at this moment, what they did appears to have been legal. To those who use the argument that what Hitler did was all legal, the difference is we don't have a legislative body rubber-stamping whatever the executive branch wants. It is not the same.
In point of fact, Snowden went further. He allegedly obtained documents and records that he did not have clearance for, or had been granted access to. That's espionage. It might be treason. No wonder he ran.
We need to separate here. What the government is doing, while quite possibly legal, is wrong. We need to be kept safe, but government doesn't need to be looking at the records of anyone unless and until there is at least something to cast suspicion on them.
So that issue needs to be separated from what Snowden did. Granted, we wouldn't know what we now know without his illegal act, but it was illegal. That our government was doing something wrong but legal is not a defense for his actions. It certainly should mitigate any sentence he receives. But it should not be a "free pass".
* * *
This Date in History
On this date in 1184BC (it is believed), the city of Troy was sacked and burned.
On this date in 1509, Henry VIII marries Catherine of Aragon.
On this date in 1770, explorer Captain Cook runs aground on the Great Barrier Reef.
On this date in 1776, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman and Robert R. Livingston are appointed as a Committee of Five to draft a declaration of independence.
On this date in 1901, New Zealand annexes the Cook Islands.
On this date in 1919, Sir Barton wins the Belmont Stakes, becoming first horse to ever win a Triple Crown.
On this date in 1944, the USS Missouri, last battleship built by the U.S. is commissioned.
On this date in 1963, Governor George Wallace stands at a door on the campus of the University of Alabama in an attempt to prevent two black students from registering.
On this date in 1971, the U.S. forcibly removes the last holdouts on Alcatraz, ending the Native American Occupation.
On this date in 2001, Timothy McVeigh is executed for his role in the OKC bombing.
Famous Folk Born On This Date:
Vince Lombardi
Gene Wilder
Chad Everett
Joey Dee
Henry Hill
Adrienne Barbeau
Henry Cisneros
Graham Russell
Joe Montana
Hugh Laurie
Clare Carey
Ryan Dunn
Joshua Jackson
Shia LaBeouf
Movie quote of the day today comes from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory":
Sam Beauregarde: Don't talk to me about contracts, Wonka, I use them myself. They're strictly for suckers.
#2
Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?
Willy Wonka: Hm... well, I think that furnace is only lit every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they?
My grandparents (maternal) were married for over 57 years. When my grandmother finally succumbed to a long-term illness, after several years, we all thought it would be a good thing for my grandfather. He put a ton of effort into visiting and caring for her. Now she was finally at rest and he still had good years left, even though he was 84. Six days later he went to the front door to get the morning newspaper and just dropped dead. Broken heart? Couldn't go on without his one great love? We'll never know.
My aunt and uncle (my father's sister) have been married well over 50 years. I haven't seen them for a long time, but I remember quite well the last time I did. They doted on each other. They held hands and it wasn't for show. They danced together and held each other very close. A couple clearly much in love.
Neither of my ex-wives were the great love of my life. I know that now. Not that I didn't love them, or think I did at the time. I did. But they weren't the great love of a lifetime. I've now narrowed it down to two women and one of them was probably the great love of my lifetime. I doubt I will find love again.
One I met in 1980 while stationed on Guam. She had dated someone else before I arrived and they had a bad breakup. We became close friends first and moved forward slowly from there. By the time we were ready to explore our shared feelings, it was time for her to leave. I wanted to explore the possibilities and talked about arranging to get transferred to where she was going. She said no. I acceded to her wishes.
Then in 1984 I met someone else, again while outside the contiguous 48. I was in the Republic of Korea. For us the connection was immediate and intense. We were practically inseperable from the day after we met. But a few months later we had to part. I was bound for Nevada and she was going to Italy. We promised to keep things going until her assignment in Italy ended (it was scheduled to be 24 months). We discussed possibly meeting somewhere in Europe. We would write often, talk on the phone at least every other week and so on. It went well for about seven months and then it became problematic. Finally, she stopped taking my calls, without explanation. After a few more weeks, I wrote one more letter and then I stopped trying to reach her. I found out through the grapevine that she'd decided she wanted to take a new assignment in Sicily rather than return to the U.S. to where I was or somewhere else that I could get to.
A few years later I was living with the woman who would become my second wife. I had kept some of my mail going to a post office box in Torrance that I was sharing with a family member. I went to pick my mail up one day and there was a card from the woman who'd just disappeared from my life. She poured her feelings into the letter she enclosed in the card. She'd been scared. She had been afraid of committing to returning to the U.S., knowing it would be at least two years before she could go back overseas. She'd discovered that I'd left the service and wanted to know how I was doing. She wanted to let me know that she wanted another chance, that her feelings hadn't changed.
What did I do? What would you have done? I'll let you know what I did tomorrow.
* * *
Remember the name Daniel Ellsberg? He called Edward Snowden's disclosures of classified information the "most important leak in American History". That's a major statement when it comes from the man who leaked "The Pentagon Papers".
What's the difference between Ellsberg and Snowden? This quote from Ellsberg at the time he admitted having leaked the documents. "I did this clearly at my own jeopardy and I am prepared to answer all the consequences of this decision."
In other words, he didn't flee. He didn't hide away, trying to avoid responsibility for the consequences of his actions. You can justify it all you want, but he broke the law. And while this surveillance of the people is reprehensible, overly-invasive and violates our right to privacy; as the law is written in our nation at this moment, what they did appears to have been legal. To those who use the argument that what Hitler did was all legal, the difference is we don't have a legislative body rubber-stamping whatever the executive branch wants. It is not the same.
In point of fact, Snowden went further. He allegedly obtained documents and records that he did not have clearance for, or had been granted access to. That's espionage. It might be treason. No wonder he ran.
We need to separate here. What the government is doing, while quite possibly legal, is wrong. We need to be kept safe, but government doesn't need to be looking at the records of anyone unless and until there is at least something to cast suspicion on them.
So that issue needs to be separated from what Snowden did. Granted, we wouldn't know what we now know without his illegal act, but it was illegal. That our government was doing something wrong but legal is not a defense for his actions. It certainly should mitigate any sentence he receives. But it should not be a "free pass".
* * *
This Date in History
On this date in 1184BC (it is believed), the city of Troy was sacked and burned.
On this date in 1509, Henry VIII marries Catherine of Aragon.
On this date in 1770, explorer Captain Cook runs aground on the Great Barrier Reef.
On this date in 1776, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Roger Sherman and Robert R. Livingston are appointed as a Committee of Five to draft a declaration of independence.
On this date in 1901, New Zealand annexes the Cook Islands.
On this date in 1919, Sir Barton wins the Belmont Stakes, becoming first horse to ever win a Triple Crown.
On this date in 1944, the USS Missouri, last battleship built by the U.S. is commissioned.
On this date in 1963, Governor George Wallace stands at a door on the campus of the University of Alabama in an attempt to prevent two black students from registering.
On this date in 1971, the U.S. forcibly removes the last holdouts on Alcatraz, ending the Native American Occupation.
On this date in 2001, Timothy McVeigh is executed for his role in the OKC bombing.
Famous Folk Born On This Date:
Vince Lombardi
Gene Wilder
Chad Everett
Joey Dee
Henry Hill
Adrienne Barbeau
Henry Cisneros
Graham Russell
Joe Montana
Hugh Laurie
Clare Carey
Ryan Dunn
Joshua Jackson
Shia LaBeouf
Movie quote of the day today comes from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory":
Sam Beauregarde: Don't talk to me about contracts, Wonka, I use them myself. They're strictly for suckers.
#2
Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?
Willy Wonka: Hm... well, I think that furnace is only lit every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they?
posted by me at 6:58 AM
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