A morning of pondering the past
I went to the VA this morning to see the foot doctor.
Usually I take a book with me to pass the time in the waiting room but I didn't feel like reading this morning. So I just let my mind wander and somehow it settled on the story of a student at the school where I used to work. Back in the mid to late 90s (don't want to identify the student or parent in any possible way), there was a family who was overjoyed to get their kid into the 7th grade. Paying the tuition was a struggle, as the father was self-employed. He managed to get it paid in time to get issued a contract for the 8th grade; however, we had a meeting in my office and I made it clear that he wasn't going to get financial aid for the current year unless a miracle happened, and that he couldn't apply for financial aid for the 9th grade until the 8th grade balance was paid in full.
It is actually a good policy. No school should be giving financial aid to a student with a large unpaid balance for a future year, if they have a policy that says students can't start the next year until the current year's balance is paid in full. It takes precious financial aid dollars out of the budget and ties them up for a student who may not be back. Then someone who had need doesn't get a grant and ends up going elsewhere. Now the school has lost two students, one they could have helped and one they wanted to help but who didn't meet their obligations.
I had another meeting with that father mid-year. He was way behind on his tuition and he brought me his completed financial aid application. I said we'd hold it, but it would not be considered until the balance of tuition was paid in full. To make a longer story shorter, he didn't pay in full until July. By them the financial aid budget was exhausted. No aid was available for the upcoming year. We sat down in July when he paid the 8th grade tuition in full and I told him the administration's position for the upcoming year. 1. The deposit had to be paid within three weeks or the place would be given away. 2. Half the tuition had to be paid before the first day of classes. If 1 and 2 were not done, his child's place in the school would be lost.
Now I understand financial difficulties. I spent much of my 17 years in private school administration helping families find creative solutions to the dilemna of paying large amounts of tuition with limited after-tax incomes. I saw a man sell his Rolex so his son could graduate. I saw a man mortgage his paid-off home to keep his kid in school. I understand that this particular father simply could not find a way to pay the deposit or the tuition. But how he chose to handle it was reprehensible. He sent his child to school on the first day even though we'd told him more than once that his child would be refused admission to classes and that the place had already been filled.
So I had to tell a ninth grade student that their father had not done what the school had asked him to do as a condition of attendance. I had to explain to a ninth grader how financial aid worked and why their family didn't get any, even though they might well have been eligible. The child didn't get it. The child cried. Eventually the mother showed up and took the child home.
That day is haunting me right now. I wanted to help. If I'd had the money in the bank, I might have written the check myself and worried about being repaid later. I don't know what happened to that kid. I hope they are doing well in life. I feel bad about what happened and logically I know it was beyond my ability to help. Emotionally though, I feel like I failed.
Usually I take a book with me to pass the time in the waiting room but I didn't feel like reading this morning. So I just let my mind wander and somehow it settled on the story of a student at the school where I used to work. Back in the mid to late 90s (don't want to identify the student or parent in any possible way), there was a family who was overjoyed to get their kid into the 7th grade. Paying the tuition was a struggle, as the father was self-employed. He managed to get it paid in time to get issued a contract for the 8th grade; however, we had a meeting in my office and I made it clear that he wasn't going to get financial aid for the current year unless a miracle happened, and that he couldn't apply for financial aid for the 9th grade until the 8th grade balance was paid in full.
It is actually a good policy. No school should be giving financial aid to a student with a large unpaid balance for a future year, if they have a policy that says students can't start the next year until the current year's balance is paid in full. It takes precious financial aid dollars out of the budget and ties them up for a student who may not be back. Then someone who had need doesn't get a grant and ends up going elsewhere. Now the school has lost two students, one they could have helped and one they wanted to help but who didn't meet their obligations.
I had another meeting with that father mid-year. He was way behind on his tuition and he brought me his completed financial aid application. I said we'd hold it, but it would not be considered until the balance of tuition was paid in full. To make a longer story shorter, he didn't pay in full until July. By them the financial aid budget was exhausted. No aid was available for the upcoming year. We sat down in July when he paid the 8th grade tuition in full and I told him the administration's position for the upcoming year. 1. The deposit had to be paid within three weeks or the place would be given away. 2. Half the tuition had to be paid before the first day of classes. If 1 and 2 were not done, his child's place in the school would be lost.
Now I understand financial difficulties. I spent much of my 17 years in private school administration helping families find creative solutions to the dilemna of paying large amounts of tuition with limited after-tax incomes. I saw a man sell his Rolex so his son could graduate. I saw a man mortgage his paid-off home to keep his kid in school. I understand that this particular father simply could not find a way to pay the deposit or the tuition. But how he chose to handle it was reprehensible. He sent his child to school on the first day even though we'd told him more than once that his child would be refused admission to classes and that the place had already been filled.
So I had to tell a ninth grade student that their father had not done what the school had asked him to do as a condition of attendance. I had to explain to a ninth grader how financial aid worked and why their family didn't get any, even though they might well have been eligible. The child didn't get it. The child cried. Eventually the mother showed up and took the child home.
That day is haunting me right now. I wanted to help. If I'd had the money in the bank, I might have written the check myself and worried about being repaid later. I don't know what happened to that kid. I hope they are doing well in life. I feel bad about what happened and logically I know it was beyond my ability to help. Emotionally though, I feel like I failed.
posted by me at 11:18 AM
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