Just how much of our existence...

is totally within our control?  Unless we don't need to work to ensure our basic survival needs are met, a large part of the hours we are able to remain awake each day are not totally within our control.  Even the self-employed have some restrictions on what they can do from day to day.  They may be able to say "no" to working today and go fishing or to a movie or whatever.  But if they can do that every day, then they no longer fit the definition of needing to work to survive.

For everyone else, our time and movements are limited.  They're further limited by other requirements of living life.  Buying groceries.  Eating.  Putting gas into the car.  Driving.  Traffic.  Meeting the needs of family members and friends.

And yet our lives are our own.  Someone, and I wish I remember who it was, once offered a great analogy.  Our lives are like a sonnet.  A sonnet has specific rules and limitations.  It must be 14 lines consisting of three quatrains and a couplet.  It must be written in iambic pentameter.  Meaning there are very rigid limits about the length and certain elements of the composition that aren't within the writer's control.

But what the author chooses to say in those 14 lines is totally unrestricted.  Content is completely within their control, as long as they follow the limits on structure and meter.  We are the authors of our own lives.

* * * * *

In 1995, Time magazine named Bill Gates "Master of the Universe".  What most people don't know is that right before that issue was published, Bill Gates died and went to heaven where he was ushered before God.  God said "I don't know what to do with you Bill.  On the one hand you've done things to make use of computers so much easier for the average individual.  On the other hand, you've tortured people in trying to use those programs of your company.  Therefore, I'm going to let you decide.  Heaven or Hell.  I want you to spend a week in each and then decide.

First Heaven.  Bill Gates spent a week floating on clouds, listening to angels sing and watching the happenings on Earth through a telescope.  It was boring.  Then he was moved to Hell and it turned out that hell is located at a beachfront condo filled with women in bikinis, barbecues, nude volleyball games and lots of sex.

After the two weeks of trial were over, Gates reappeared before God and was asked to choose.  "No offense God, but I choose Hell."  "Okay, it was your choice.  I'll look in on you in a few weeks and see how you're making out with your choice.  And remember, it's an irrevocable choice."

Two weeks later, God journeyed to Hell and found Bill Gates chained to a rock wall and being tortured 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  When Bill noticed God he began complaining.  "This isn't what I signed up for.  Where is the beach?  Where are the girls in bikinis?"  God smiled and said "oh, that was Hell 3.1.  This is Hell 95."

Now if you found that funny, you were probably around in 1995 when we were all forced to adapt to the initial Windows 95, which drove us crazy at first.  If you didn't, it just proves that not all jokes, unlike fine wines, don't necessarily improve with age.

* * * * *

Things I'm pondering today include:

Why do people bundle up when they're cold but don't take off the outer garments once they are inside; resulting in their being very cold after acclimating to the inside temperature while bundled and then going back outside?

Was there an easier way to phrase that ponder?

If you're at an intersection where there are three fast-food restaurants and you don't have time to go elsewhere for lunch, how do you choose if you loathe all three of the chains available?

Why is the media continuing to insist Robert Wagner is a suspect in the death of Natalie Wood more than 30 years old?

Things must be tense around the NBC offices regarding the situation on the Today Show with Matt Lauer and Ann Curry, since network executives ordered Chelsea Handler to stop making jokes about it.

Do people selling stuff on EBay not look closely at the photos before posting them?  Naked people images show up in mirrors and other reflective surfaces in pictures of items for sale.  Better question might be why do people spend so much time naked in their homes?

This Date in History:

On this date in 1535, Pizarro founds the city of Lima.
On this date in 1591, King Naresuan of Siam kills Crown Prince Michnit Sra of Burma in single combat, which is why this date is celebrated as Royal Thai Armed Forces Day.
On this date in 1884, Dr. William Price attempted to cremate the body of his infant son, Jesus Christ Price.  This is the legal precedent for cremation in the UK.
On this date in 1911, the first landing of an airplane aboard a ship took place on the USS Pennsylvania.
On this date in 1943, the first uprising in the Jewish ghetto of Warsaw begins.
On this date in 1958, Willie O'Ree, the first African-Canadian to play in the National Hockey League makes his debut.
On this date in 1977, doctors identify the bacterium that is the cause of Legionnaire's Disease.
On this date in 1983, the International Olympic Committee restores the medals of Jim Thorpe to his family.